Transcripts - The New Ron
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - The New Ron


Episode The New Ron
Language English
Type Unknown
Date Written September 18, 2005
Author Erased Paper
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 3,544


[Act 1]

[Scene--Possible home]

[Kim has serious face, Francois strokes his chin, Rufus has serious face, Francois puts his hands in a square shape]

Francois: No, even for Francois it is too much.
Kim: You can do it Francois!
Francios: You are right, Kim Possible, I must try. My tools!

Ron: KP, are you sure about this?
Kim: Ron, Francois is an artist. Getting him to make a house call is like epic.

Francois: Oh, I could not vist the states and not help Kim Possible. [laughs] After what you did for my poodle, oh, please, it is my pleasure.
Kim: Those dog nappers had it coming.

Mrs. Dr. Possible: Kimmy, why is Ron getting a haircut in our kitchen?
Kim: Uh, because he ferociously needs one.
Mrs. Dr. Possible: Oh, I don't know.
Kim: I do. I know what's best for Ron, even if he doesn't.

Francois: So, Ronald, your old barber, he was um... how you say... somewhat "vision impared", yes?
Ron: No, he could see shapes, kinda.

Mrs. Dr. Possible: Oh, he's really taking a lot off.
Kim: He'll thank me, Mom. It's no big.

Francois: The finale: A piece as a dollop of... Le Goop! As they say, the secret is in the sea urchin.

[Kim smiles]

Rufus: Wow!

Ron: [looking at a mirror] Ahh!!!

[cut to theme song]

[scene--Middleton High]

[Ron's in a closet]
Kim: I'm telling you it was a change for the better, Ron. Trust me.
Ron: Don't play me, Kim.
Kim: Just come out.

[Comes out with a trash bin on his head]
Kim: Oh, that's much less embarrasing than a new haircut.
Ron: [takes off trash bin revealing a ski hat] By making me get the foofy haircut, you disrupted my core. My identity, my essential Ron-ness.
Kim: "Ron-ness"?
Ron: Yeah, that easy going devil-make hair attitude that makes me ... um, an easy going devil-make hair guy. Right, Rufus?
[Rufus smiles]

[sad music plays]
Kim: I had no idea there was so much to you, Ron. I'm sorry. I guess there's only one thing I can do.

Kim: [happily takes off Ron's hat] New haircut!
Ron: Ahh!
Kim: Ron Stoppable got a new haircut! See ya!
Ron: [running after her] Give it, Kim!

[Ron stops in his tracks]

Ron: Seniors! Um, hi.
Amielia: Do I know you?
Ron: I-I-I'm Stop Ronnable. Ron Stoppable.
Amielia: That's a very, very, cool haircut, Ron Stoppable.
Ron: Thanks.
Amielia: I'll see you later.
Ron: Maybe. I mean, [slightly deeper voice] sure, yeah, later.

Ron: This haircut rocks! Stadium rocks! [cowlick appears] Oh no.

[cut to outside school]

[Kim walks by]
Ron: Kim! Kim! [comes out from behind a tree]
Kim: Ron, where have you been all day?
Ron: Please tell me this haircut comes with a warrenty.
Kim: What happened?
Ron: Cowlick.
[Ron tries to flatten it, but it comes back]
Rufus: Hmmm.. Hi yah! [falls on cowlick, but it bounces him off]
Ron: Rufus!
Kim: Oh, it'll flatten out when your hair gets longer.

Ron: That's one scenario. Here's another: We go to France, find Francois, get more Le Goop.
Kim: Ron, are you suggesting that I call in a favor so you can go to France for hair gel?
Ron: Uh, we.

[cut to a plane in France]

Kim: Thanks for the ride.
Co-Pilot: Oh, Kim, belive me, it's the least we can do after your help during that blizzard.
Pilot: We never would've seen that runway without your quick thinking.
Kim: Oh, anybody could've made a high powered signaling system out of things found in the airport gift shop.
Ron: That was some emergency, huh? We'll gotta go, bye!
Co-Pilot: Hey, cool haircut!
Pilot: Too bad about that cowlick.

[cut to outside Francois' shop]

Ron: So you're saying I need a new wardrobe to take the hair to the next level.
Francois: Oh, without question, Ronald! The hair, the clothes [laughs] they must harmonise.
Ron: Done and done, Francois. Marsee.

[french girl walks by]
Ron: Bonjour.
[french girl blows back a kiss]
French girl: [trips into stairs] Woah!

Kim: Have these people never seen hair before?
Ron: Somebody's tweaked.
Kim: I am not tweaked.
Ron: You reek tweak.

[Two more french girls walk by]
French girl: Bonjour!

Kim: Ok, yes, and do you know why? Because I find it very--

Ron: [not paying any attention to Kim] Yeah, baby, that's what I'm talking about.

Kim: I find it very annoying that hair care products have become the center of the universe.
Ron: Hair care products have always been the center of the universe. I just found out about it recently.
Kim: Ugh.

[lights in Paris start going off]
Kim: Hmm.

Kim and Ron: Huh?
[Eiffel tower lights go off]

Ron: That's weird.
Kim: Yeah, it is. I'm calling Wade.
Wade: Hey, Kim, how's Ron? Tell him I could really go for some lasagna. How 'bout stopping by Italy for me?
Ron: Was that a shot?

Kim: Paris is blacked out, Wade. What's the sitch?
Wade: Let me scan the news sites. Wow! It's not just Paris; Rolling blackouts all over Europe.
Kim: Can you patch the Kimmunicator into the European grid?
Wade: Done.

: Great, and we'll need some transportation.
Wade: No problem. I've done some consulting work for a French aeronautics firm. They'll help out.

[cut to Pilot-less Drone Chopper]

Ron: This cannot be safe.
Kim: Uh, Wade, I'm kinda with Ron on this one.
Wade: Don't be babies. The Pilot-less Drone Chopper is awsome. The military uses it for missions too risky for human beings.

Kim: I've trased the drain to Eight degrees One Minute West, Fourty-six degrees North, but my map shows nothing out there.
[Rufus points out the window]
Ron: "Nothing" left it's lights on.

[camera shows a huge island]

Kim: Wade, take us down.
Ron: Gently!

[Pilot-less Drone Chopper goes down to the island]

Ron: Woah!

[Kim points to the huge wall and uses the grapping hook to get on top]

Kim: That's a really big lightbulb.
Ron: No wonder there's no power in Europe.

[Kim notices Señor Senior, Jr. She drags Ron down to the ground]
Kim: Uh, hello.
SSJ: Father, I see people. They must be the new servants.

SSS: [coming outside] Very good, very good. You have brought more lightbulbs?
Ron: [to Kim] Did you bring lightbulbs?

Kim: I'm Kim Possible and this is Ron Stoppable.
SSS: Ah, welcome, welcome to my home. We have only just turned everything on. I am Señor Senior, Sr. and this is my son, Señor Senior, Jr.

SSJ: Your haircut, it is very nice.
Ron: I use Le Goop.
SSJ: As do I, but your clothes, they do not harmonise.
Ron: I know, I'm all over it, dude.

SSS: I was just going to take a quick ski down my indoor mountain... care to join me?
Kim: No thank you, Señor...
SSS: ...Senior, Sr. Some refreshment perhaps? Oh, I have some lovely juice. Quite amazing really; it comes in a box.
Kim: A juice box would be nice.
Ron: I wanna ski. [Kim elbows Ron] Yeah, ok, juice is good.

[cut inside]

[Ron drinks his juice box]

Kim: I guess what I'm saying is energy is a precious resource. It's up to each and every one of us to do our part. So a little eco awareness might be in order here.
SSS: Oh, I am but a simple multi-billionaire. I can't believe that what I do has any effect on anyone.
Kim: Yeah. Um, your house sucks up so much power, it's causing blackouts all over Europe.
SSS: And these people without power, they are...inconvenienced?
Kim: Very.
SSS: You see, Junior, how awful it is to be poor? But, uh, what can I do?
Kim: Well for starters, you could turn off that giant sunlamp.
SSJ: But if I am to be a teen pop star, I need a robust tan.
SSS: Later. Oh, I want to hear again about this "low flow shower head".
Kim: There's a ton of things you can do to make your house more efficient.

Ron: House? More like a lair.
SSS: Lair? Oh, I do not like the sound of that. It's too... sinister.
Ron: This place screams sinister; It's on a private island that isn't on any map.
SSS: I value my privacy, what can I tell you?

Ron: Come on, look at all the crome. You've got doors that go-- that go "whoosh"!
SSJ: I always wondered about the "whoosh"...
SSS: I like the "whoosh". It's the door saying "I am closed".

Kim: It's fine, sir; ignore him.

Ron: All I'm saying is that a guy could take over the world from a place like this. I mean really it wouldn't take much; maybe a communications jamming system, some missles, probably throw in some traps, y'know self-activating lazers, an indoor lagoon full of piranha...
SSS: Piranha... Why ever would I want... piranha?
Ron: To eat the good guys.

Kim: Just put in some florencents, that should do the trick. Bye bye!

Ron: And also think about a secret underground grotto with a speed boat for escape purposes. And-and-and-and gigantic spinning tops of doom, they'd be huge and destroy anything in their path.
Kim: Come on, Mr. Spinning Tops of Doom, I've got homework.
SSS: Goodbye! And thank you!
SSJ: I hope the one with the nice haircut finds better trousers.
SSS: Yes, but his ideas...I have so much money and free time...I could use...a hobby.

[act 2]

[scene--Possible home]

Jim: Why didn't you beat him up?
Kim: I'm not gonna beat up a guy just because he's using too much power.
Tim: Ah, you could've kicked him!
Kim: I left him some pamplets.
Mr. Dr. Possible: Well, all you kids could stand to turn off a few lights.

Mrs. Dr. Possible: Dinner! Ta-da! [reveals meatloaf shaped like a brain]
Kim: [grossed out] Mom, is that?
Jim: Brain, cool!
Tim: I want a lobe!
Mr. Dr. Possible: Boys, please.
Jim: Sorry. May I please have a slice of steaming human brain?
Tim: Please?

Kim: First Ron, now my family, has everyone lost their-- [Mom cuts off a piece of the brain] That is so gross.
Mrs. Dr. Possible: Kimmy, it's just meatloaf. I'm making it for the nerosergians pot luck. Thought I'd try it on you guys first.
Mr. Dr. Possible: Kudos on the realism, uncanny.

[Kim touches her fork]
Mr. Dr. Possible: So, uh, what's up with Ronald? Something you wanna talk about?
Kim: Yeah, but I guess I should be talking with him. May I be excused?
Mrs. Dr. Possible: I'll save you a plate, honey! Boys, left hemisphere or right?

[cut to Kim's room]

[Kim dials her phone]
Ron's ansering machine: Hey, hey, you've reached the home of Ron Stoppable and fierce new haircut! Leave a message.
Kim: How can Ron not be home? Ok, better page him.

[cut to Middleton mall]
Ron: Ugh, no, no, no, no, no! Dude, I am beyond not feeling this shirt. Look at my hair; you gotta key off the hair.
[Rufus finds Ron's pager beeping, but Ron doesn't see it]

[cut back to Kim's room]
Mr. Dr. Possible: You and Ronald all squared away?
Kim: Not. I can't even reach him. Dad, did you ever try to change a friend, to make them better?

Mr. Dr. Possible: Well not a human, but back in grad school, there was this lab rat. "Pinky Joe Curly Tail" I called him. Poor little guy was always running mazes for those site majors, how I hated them...
Kim: Dad, what does this have to do with me?
Mr. Dr. Possible: Well it seemed to me that Pinky Joe Curly Tail was just so helpless. I constructed a very tiny cybertronic battle suit...
Kim: For the rat?
Mr. Dr. Possible: No more mazes for him! Ah, in rectrospect, giving him a working plasma blaster probably went too far. Blew up half the science building. Rampaged across campous.
[flashback to Pinky Joe firing lazers with people running for their lives]
Mr. Dr. Possible: Oh, Pinky Joe.

Kim: So, this "creating a monster" thing runs in the family.
Mrs. Dr. Possible: Saved you some brainloaf, Kimmy.
Kim: If I said the Ron trouble is rising, would you come back with a story about a psycho rat?
Mom: No. But I might work in an "I told you so".

[cut to Middleton High]

[Ron walks in the hallway in his new outfit. Several girls notice him.]

Ron: What's happenin', mama?
Kim: Oh, hey, where were you last night? I paged and-- woah! What happened to youuu?
Ron: Ron Stoppable has arrived. Amielia, babe, let's lunch.
Amielia: Okay.

Kim: Oh, Pinky Joe.

[cut to Rufus alone in the halls. He almost gets stepped on.]
Kim: Rufus! What are you doing out here? Come on, let's get you into Ron's locker.

[cut to the cafeteria]

[Ron's sitting with Amielia and three other seniors]
Amielia: Wow.
Ron: Yes, Ameilia, wow. The secret is the sea urchin.
Kim: Excuse me, Ron.

Kim: What is with you?
Ron: If you mean, "Am I the new Ron?" Yes, I am.
Kim: I gotta say, I don't think the "Old Ron" would've ever left Rufus on the floor. He was almost hallway roadkill!
Ron: Rufus, you gotta be more careful, what if something happened to you?
Rufus: Aww! [Rufus jumps at Ron, but is blocked by Ron's hand]
Ron: Woah, bro, careful of the 'do, babe.
Kim: So there's no room for Rufus in your new life?
Ron: Yes, there is; there's just no room for him in my new pants. Pleather, y'like?

Amielia: Walk me to history, Ron?
Ron: Boo-yah.

Rufus: [sad] Aww.
Kim: Come on, you can live in my locker. [puts him in her pants]
Rufus: [happier] Ahh.

[Kim walks to her locker. Rufus sees a picture of Kim and old Ron]
Rufus: Aww.
Kim: Yeah, I liked him that way too.

Wade: Kim, we've got trouble. Big time trouble.
Kim: What's the damage, Wade?
Wade: The damage is Señor Senior, Sr. I thought you said he was harmless.
Kim: Yeah. Rich, but harmless.
Wade: He's sucked up all the power in western Europe.
Kim: Ok, I'll go back and make sure he turns off some of his lights.
Wade: It's gonna take more than that, Kim. Señor Senior, Sr. is taking Europe's power on purpose. Check this out.

SSS: My evil vow is this: I will send Europe back into the dark ages unless the Euro Alliance gives me... [menacingly] their nice little islands.
Kim: "Nice. Little. Islands?"
SSJ: With the warm beach days and hot disco nights!

Wade: They are obviously new at the big-time villain thing.
Kim: That's what worries me. I'll get Ron. We've gotta save Europe!

[act 3]

[Eiffel tower and the area around it goes off, a clock tower goes off, the lights go off in a canal with a couple on a boat]

[cut to Seniors' island]

SSS: [reading "The Book of Evil"] Hmm, Evil chutle... No, not for me. Ah, the evil snicker! [snickers] [closes book] Alright, that will do for now.

SSS: Junior, any word from the Euro Alliance?
SSJ: Somebody called, I don't know who.
SSS: Did you think to take a message?
SSJ: I did not, I'm not your message taking person.
SSS: If you want your own island, you will think to take a message.

[screen turns on. Kim and Ron are in scuba gear.]
SSS: Look, Ron Stoppable returns.
SSJ: Has he got the new trousers?
SSS: Yes, scuba trousers.

[cut outside]

Ron: ... So then Amielia ran up and said "Brad Pitt!", but she tapped me on the shoulder and--
Kim: Ron, we're sneaking here.
Ron: Sorry. Brad Pitt, though.

Kim: Woah!
Ron: Double woah. [camera shows two spotlights on the huge wall] He's been busy.
Kim: Get down.

Kim: Oh, good, missles. I am so glad you told him to get missles.
Ron: Oh, so I made a few sugesstions, does that make it my fault?
Kim: One hundred percent.

[Kim and Ron jump the wall and start running until they see a huge power cord]
Ron: It that what I think it is?
Kim: That's how he's draining the power. Come on, let's get this settled.
Ron: How are you planing on getting inside?
Kim: The door.

Kim: [knocking his door] Señor Senior, Sr. open up.

[door opens]

SSS: Ah, Kim Possible, my feisty teen--
Ron: Hey, you put in a lagoon!
SSS: The piranha won't be here 'til Monday, but, I assure you, the Koi have not been fed in days.

SSS: I ordered this book on world domination off the internet. Huh, It said you'd be coming back.
Kim: Have you gotten to the chapter where you give yourself up?
SSS: No, actually, I'm up to the part where I tell you "That it is too late for you to stop my evil plan".

Ron: Aw, man, I have a zit on my nose.
Kim: Will you get over yourself?
Ron: You do too, right there.

Kim: Self-activating lazers! [pushes Ron right before the lazers fire] Threw in some traps.
Ron: Hey, on the positive side, this guy's clearly a terrific listener. [both run away from the lazers]

[hiding behind a wall]
Kim: Señor Senior, Sr. is really starting to get on my nerves.
Ron: Should Pleather lose it's sheen so quickly?

SSS: Kim Possible, here's a good target: Middleton. I'm going to attack your hometown! Junior, go to the tower and activate the missles.
SSJ: Oh, now I'm your missle launching person too?! [runs outside]

Ron: Junior just split.
Kim: I'll deal with Senior, you go after Junior.

[takes Rufus out of her pocket]
Kim: Keep an eye on him. The old Ron may still be inside there somewhere.

[Ron dodges the lazers, runs to a wall, then over the lagoon. Rufus follows him.]

[Kim dodges the lazers just before they fire. SSS snickers. Kim gets the lazers to destroy the lazer cannons.]

SSS: Oh, you think you're out of trouble? Well, you're not out of trouble. Farewell, Kim Possible!
Kim: [gasps] Spinning tops of doom? [Kim dodges one, then two more come out]

[cut outside]

SSJ: Why do I have to launch his stupid missles?

Ron: Step away from the console!
SSJ: Or step away from your bossy attitude. You think just because you're so nicely dressed--

[Ron tackles him. SSJ messes up Ron's hair.]

Ron: Ahh!

[Ron uses a comb to fix his hair. SSJ types on the console, but Ron messes up his hair.]

SSJ: Ahh!

[SSJ uses his comb to fix his hair. Ron types on the console]

SSJ: No you don't!

[SSJ messes up Ron's hair. Ron uses his comb to fix his hair. SSJ breaks the comb.]

Ron: [gasps] Oh, you are gonna pay.

[Ron tackles him and messes up his hair. Ron and SSJ fight over the other comb. Rufus runs in angry. Both drop the comb. The comb slides right next to the edge.]

SSJ: No!!!

[Rufus sighs]

[cut back to Kim]

[Kim takes a breather next to a wall. She nearly escapes a spinning top of doom.]

[cut back outside]

[Ron and SSJ still trying to get the comb. Ron sees his reflection.]

Ron: Look at me, what have I become?
SSJ: I do not know. What?

[Rufus messes his hair back to the old style.]

Ron: My Ron-ness! I-I feel it! Yeah, this look works!
SSJ: What look? Let me see. But your hair is all messy, it's so, so--
Ron: Totally me!

[Rufus kicks the comb off the edge]

SSJ: Ahh!!!!!
Ron: Woah, the stairs. Use the stairs.

[Ron disarms the missles.]

[cut to Kim]

Kim: Ahh! [runs away from spinning top of doom]

Ron: Kim!

[spinning top destroys a latter.]

Ron: Get down! [throws a part of the latter at the spinning top]

[two spinning tops hit each other]

Ron: [grabbing Kim]: Come on! [both hide from the tops]

[two spinning tops hit each other]

Kim: Thanks.

[The walkway SSS stands on falls to the ground while the tops get destroyed]

Kim: Never, never tell anyone to go out and buy "Spinning Tops of Doom".

[SSS walks outside]

Kim: You gotta be careful about what you say, Ron. I mean one little thing--
Ron: Like "You need a new hairstyle"?
Kim: Yeah! Like that. Sorry.
Ron: You know what the worst thing is? Pleather doesn't breathe.

[Seniors escape on a speed boat]

Kim: Secret grotto and a speed boat. Great for escapes.
Ron: You know, I am so not talking to anyone ever again.
Kim: Come on, let's ace this place.

[cut to school]

Ron: So, it wasn't really the haircut that made me popular. What people saw was confidence. So I lose the haircut, keep the confidence and I'm chauncy.

Ron: Hey Amielia, we still on for after school?
Amielia: After school, with you? And do what? Geek out?
Ron: But-come on-it's me-it's Ron. What so I ditch the 'do, it's what's inside that matters, right? Right?
Amielia: Like who told you that, loser?

[Kim opens her locker. Rufus jumps at Ron.]

Rufus: Wooo!

Kim: See? Someone likes you just the way you are.

[Rufus hugs Ron]

[roll end credits]