Transcripts - Ron the Man
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - Ron the Man

 

  Information
Episode Ron the Man
Language English
Type Closed Captioning
Date Written Unknown
Author Hazuki
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 2818
 

  Transcript

Shego: Urgh!
Shego: Be ready to move on my signal.

Drakken: Shego, wait!
% All pant.

% Rumbling.
Henchman: Oh!
Dementor: ( Evil cackling ) Victory is mine!
Drakken: Professor Dementor?

Dementor: Dr. Drakken. Hello. What brings you here?
Drakken: I plan to steal the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer with
which I will wreak much havoc.
Dementor: This Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer?
Drakken: You can't steal it! I want to steal it!
Dementor: Too bad. ( Clicks fingers ) Come, my loyal henchmen!

Dementor: To the sky!
Drakken: I really wanted that Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer. Hm!


% Bell rings.
Barkin: Alright, listen up. I regret to inform you that
Ms. Jenkins made a mistake many first-year teachers make.
She ate the cafeteria meatloaf.

% All gasp.
Barkin: Now, until she's out of intensive care, I'll be covering
her class. So, let's begin with a pop quiz.
Kim: Er, Mr. Barkin, we were supposed to present our personal
history projects today.
Barkin: Personal history project?
Monique: It's great. We each did a project that explores who we
are.

Ron: There was only one rule, have fun!
Barkin: Have fun? No wonder the meatloaf got her. She's weak.
Alright, bring on the projects.

Ron: We all know Ron Stoppable is the man, but can we prove it?
I believe we can with this collage.
Barkin: Collage? That's a French word, isn't it? Points off for
that.
Ron: It's all here, Mr B. From birth to Bar Mitzvah and
beyond.

Barkin: I'm not so sure about this.
Ron: Don't feel bad. Many people are unfamiliar with Jewish
traditions. The Bar Mitzvah occurs when a boy is 13 years
old. It's ferociously cool. You go to temple, you read
from the Torah and boom, you're a man. My rabbi even
printed out a signed souvenir certificate which he signed.
Barkin: Correction. Which he did not signed.
Ron: No way! Rabbi Katz definitely... did not sign it.
Barkin: Some would say that you're reading from the Torah before
the assembled, that's what's important.

Ron: Yeah? You think so?
Barkin: I said some, not me! I'm a stickler for detail. You got
a certificate here you bring around that's not signed.
Ron: Oh, no.

Ron: I can't believe it. I've been living a lie all these
years.
Ron's Mom: Oh, Ronnie, you have not living a lie.

Ron: Have so!
Rufus: Aw, aw, aw! ( Giggles / chomps )
Ron's Dad: If it makes you feel better, drop by temple tomorrow and
get Rabbi Katz to sign it.
Ron's Mom: Well, no, honey it'll have to wait till next week.
Rabbi Katz is at that rabbinical conference in Vegas,
remember?

Ron's Dad: Oh, right.
Ron: Oh! So I've got to wait a whole another week to be a
man?
Ron's Dad: That stuff is not what makes you a man.
Ron: It's the only proof I've got.
Ron's Dad: What's important now is what kind of man are you.

Ron: I don't know.
% Rufus munches.
Ron: Rufus, what do you think?
% Burps.

Drakken: Inadequate. It's the only word for it. Let's review,
shall we?

Henchman: Grrrrr!

Henchman: Ugh!
Henchman: Ugh, ugh, ugh!

Drakken: I stand corrected. It's not only inadequate, it is
embarrassing.
Shego: So, do what Professor Dementor does?
Drakken: And what is that?
Shego: Visit Jack Hench.

Drakken: Grrrrrr! Oh, please. Every villain on the planet uses
Hench. Not me. I paddle my own canoe, thank you very much.
Shego: Pfft! You're just too cheap.
Drakken: The man's prices are outrageous.
Shego: Alringt, I'll infiltrate his research facility and, you
know, maybe I can find some free samples.
Drakken: Please, Hench never gives free anything. He... Oh, you
mean stealing, don't you?

Shego: Doy!
Drakken: Very good then. Steal something wonderful.

Ron: Oh, hey, sorry, Mr. B.
Barkin: I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for your current
funk.
Ron: Actually, I'm on to a new funk. My dad said the question
isn't am I a man, it's what kind of man. And I gotta tell
you, I'm just not sure.

Barkin: It's easy. You're small and weak.
Ron: Excuse me?
Barkin: Stoppable, the ideal man is big and/or strong. You are
neither.
Ron: I get by.
Barkin: You get rescued by a girl.

Ron: Sometimes.
Barkin: Frequently.
Kim: Been looking everywhere for you, Ron. Hey, Mr. Barkin.
Barkin: Possible.

Ron: Kim, how often would you say you rescue me?

Kim: Er, I don't know. Sometimes? Hm, frequently?
Ron: Frequently?
Kim: OK, Wade, we're here. What's the sitch?
Wade: We got a hit on the site from a Jack Hench.
Kim: Who?

Wade: This guy is a total mystery. Nobody knows what he does,
whatever it is he makes some serious cash. Wait till you see
his private jet.

Usher: ( Gasps ) Why, you must be Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable.
I'll let Mr. Hench know you're he Please, please, take a seat.
Kim: Thanks.
% Phone rings.
Usher: Hench Co., hold, please.

Kim: I don't like this.
Ron: Me either. These questions they're asking. Manliness quiz?
Ha!
Kim: I meant the whole Hench Co. vibe.
Usher: I'm sorry, sir, Mr. Hench is booked solid all morning. Can
he ring you back? Super.
Kim: Excuse me, could you please get a bottled water?

Usher: You bet.

Kim: Senor Senior Senior? Professor Dementor? This guy Hench
deals with every villain bent on global conquest.
Ron: OK, my manly score could not be that low. Kim, check my math.
Ron: Aargh!
Kim: Come on.

Ron: ( Gasps )


Ron: Aargh!
Ron: How we doing?
Kim: Been better.

Jack: ( o.s. ) People, people. Miss Possible is my guest.
Ron: That's a good call, fellas, cos, you know, I was primed to
make my move!
Jack: The hero and the sidekick. Classic.
Kim: So, this was a trap?

Jack: Not at all. According to your website, you help people, and,
Miss Possible, I need help.

Ron: You're showing us a ring.
Kim: It's no ordinary ring, Ron. It operates on a molecular level
right?
Jack: You are a smart one. That's exactly right. This is my
molecular muscle enhancer.

Ron: Hey!

Ron: That rocks!
Jack: That's what I said when those crazy kids in research and
development came up with it.
Kim: Instant muscles.
Jack: Exactly. Does it get any better? I don't think so. Then
that jerk Drakken had to send in Shego.
Kim: Drakken?

Ron: Shego?
Jack: She stole the whole batch, except for this one.
Kim: And we should care about this why?
Jack: Miss Possible... Er, Kim...
Kim: Miss Possible.

Jack: OK, fine. Anyway, you fight a lot of villain, right?
Kim: Yeah.
Jack: And they usually have henchmen, right?
Kim: Er, yeah.
Jack: Where do you think the name came from?

Jack: Here at Hench Co, we're building a better henchman I'd like
to think that we're performing a service for the community.
Kim: The evil community.
Ron: Sure, this guy runs a shady business, but, I mean, come on,
that technology in Drakken's hands?
Kim: Good point. OK, we're on it.
Jack: Great!

Ron: And this will be crucial to our investigation.

Ron's Dad: Oh, great, you're home. I've been wanting to talk to
you about your crisis.
Ron: The crisis? Oh, oh, no, that's over.
Ron's Dad: Really? That fast?
Ron: Let's just say I found an instant solution.

Ron's Dad: Oh, really? But I worked up some real good advice about
manhood.
Ron: Really? That's cool. Um, hey, you give Rufus the
downlow. He'll brief me later.
Ron's Dad: Er,... OK.

Rufus: Uh-huh. Ready?

Barkin: ( in Ron's head ) That's easy. You're small and weak.

Ron: Not for long.

Drakken: Molecular muscle enhancement. I love it! Ha-ha-ha!!
Now you are manly men, we will steal the Pan-dimensional
Vortex Inducer which was ours to steal in the first place!
Shego, have you located Professor Dementor's latest lair?
Shego: Yeah, but it looks like nobody's home.
Drakken: Argh, revenge was to be mine, but now Professor Dementor
has vanished without a trace. Oh, cruel fate! Maybe
I should call him. I've got him on speed dial.

Dementor: Hello.
Drakken: Where are you hiding, you...?

Dementor: I can't take your call right now.
Drakken: Urch, the machine.
Dementor: I've taken my entire staff and my newly-acquired
Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer! And we're off to Las
Vegas. Leave a message at the tone.
Drakken: Dah! He's so brazen.

Boy: Awesome!

Girl: Look at his biceps!
% All gasp.

Ron: Man, can't see past my pecs. Ah, well.
Monique: Ron, what happened?
Kim: Molecular muscle enhancer.

Monique: See, I never woulda guessed that.
Kim: Take it off, Ron.
Ron: No way! I finally feel like a man!
Kim: Muscles do not make a man.
Monique: Uh-uh. You gotta dig deeper than that.

Kim: Way deeper.

Brick: Stoppable?
Ron: Yo, Brick.
Brick: You seem... different.
Ron: It's just me, you know, hanging. ( Sniffs ) Being manly.

All: Cool.
Ron: Yeah, it is.
Ron: Who's the man?
Monique: OK, since when do you care what those other guys think?
Ron: Since just now when they accepted me.

Kim: Ron, look...
% Communicator beeps.
Kim: Hey, Wade. Guess who decided to try out the molecular
muscle enhancer?
Wade: Ron.
Ron: How did you know?

Wade: The enhancer gives off a weird energy signature.
Ron: Oh, yeah! ...Hey, Kim, what's an energy signature?
Wade: Ron, you are here.
% Beeping.
Monique: Hey, you're the dot.

Ron: The manly dot.
Kim: So Wade, if you scan for a bunch green dots...
Wade: We'll find out where Drakken is. Already did it. He's in
Vegas.
Kim: He's where?
Wade: At the Las Vegas, Las Vegas resort.

Ron: The manly resort.
Kim: Ugh!


Drakken: Las Vegas, the place where vengeance will be mine.

Shego: I spotted Professor Dementor and his boys.
Drakken: Poised to threaten the free world with the
Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer?
Shego: Er, no, actually, they're chilling by the pool.
Drakken: How does he find time to relax? How does he get to have
it all?
Drakken: Grrrrr! Ah, stupid gate.

Employee: Er, sir, the pool area is for hotel guests only. You
need a room key.
Drakken: Aaarrgh, fine! We'll check into the hotel, then we will
steal the stolen Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer and then
vengeance will finally be mine!

Jilly: Welcome to Las Vegas, Las Vegas. What can I do you for?
Drakken: Yes,... Jilly from Jersey. Hm. I need a room.
Jilly: Sorry, baby, but we are booked with the cuckoo
conventions.

Drakken: Fine. Whatever. Just hand over a key so I can get into
the pool.
Jilly: Easy, clyde. The swim is for registered cats only.
Drakken: That's what I'm trying to do, you annoying little poser!
Jilly: Er, get the hands off the suit, creep.
Drakken: You're... Di... I'm... Ch... Shego!

Jilly: Welcome to Las Vegas, Las Vegas, chicky baby.
Kim: Yeah, hi. Have you seen this guy
Jilly: A-ring-a-ding-ding.

Kim: ( Strains ) OK, Rufus, you slip through and unlock the gate
from the inside.

Rufus: Check!
Ron: Kim, I could just bend the bars.
Kim: Save it for the circus, Ron.
Rufus: Ta-da!

Kim: Drakken. And look, more instant muscle men.

All: Huh? Aaaaaaarrrgh!

Dementor: ( Slurps ) Hm.

Dementor: Looking for... this, hm?
Drakken: The Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer.
Kim: The Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer?

Ron: What do the rings have to do with the Pan-dimensional
Vortex Inducer?

Dementor: Eh. Oh, oh.
Drakken: Oh!
Drakken: Use the power of the rings! Get Pan-dimensional Vortex
Inducer!
Kim+Ron: Ohh!

Drakken: Comb this place from penthouse to pavement.
Shego: Sure. I'll take the buffet.
Drakken: Nice try. I'll te the buffet.

Kim: Wade, what have you got on Professor Dementor?
Wade: OK, several days ago, he stole a Pan-dimensional Vortex
Inducer from a research facility in the Rocky Mountains.

Kim: Why am I just finding out about this now?
Wade: Local, federal and international law enforcement are on the
case. They thought they didn't need you.
Kim: Well, I guess they thought wrong. Come on, Ron. Let's move.
Ron: Way ahead of you, KP. I'll check in here.
Ron: My bad.

Kim: Heh-heh-heh! Excuse us.

Ron: Guess I don't know my own strength.
Kim: Ron, look! Professor Dementor.
Ron: Drakken!
Drakken: It's Kim Possible! Get her!

All: Aaaaarrrgh!

Ron: ( Laughs ) Yaaaaaah!
Jirry: Hey, oh!
Ron: Aaaaaaarrrgh!!

Ron: Rabbi Katz?
Katz: Ronald? Ronald Stoppable?
Ron: Yeah. What are you doing here?
Katz: It's a rabbinical conference. Ron, have you been working out
or something?
Ron: Nice, huh? By the way, did you know you forgot sign my Bar
Mitzvah certificate.

Katz: Really? Certainly I'll sign it as soon as get back to
Middleton.
Ron: No, no, it's not necessary.
Katz: I would have to agree. The Bar Mitzvah ceremony itself is
what counts, Ronald.
Ron: What counts is this.
Katz: What, your muscles?

Ron: Let's face it. If I got any more manly, the world couldn't
handle me.
Katz: Ronald, I think you're confused.

Henchmen: Grrrrrr!
Ron: Better lay low, Rabbi K. I gotta take care of business,
Ron style.

Jilly: Hey, you!

Dementor: What's next, boys? Should we hit the buffet or take in a
show?
% Ping!.

Drakken: Hand over the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer.
Dementor: Never!!
Drakken: Have it your way. My henchmen aren't afraid to play
rough.

Dementor: Drakken, you are always entertaining. Get him!!
Shego: It's six against two. How many can you take?
Drakken: Put me down for... none.
Shego: Oh, good.

Kim: Ron, are you in there?

Ron: Yo.

Henchman: Aagh!

Kim: Ron, I gotta go. Can you and your muscles handle things down
here?
Ron: Yo.

Shego: Ha-ha-ha!

Drakken: Give it to me!

Dementor: No! It's mine!
Both: No!!
Kim: I'd say finders keepers applies here.
Kim: ( Gasps )

Shego: Sounds fair to me.
Drakken: ( Laughs )
Drakken: Thank you, Kimberley.
% Beeping.

Drakken: What's that beeping?
Dementor: It's been activated.
Drakken: Is that a bad thing?
Kim+Shego: Ugh!
Dementor: Don't you have any idea what the Pan-dimensional Vortex
Inducer does?

Drakken: Something very dangerous, I'm sure, or else it wouldn't
be top secret.
Kim: How dangerous?
Dementor: The vortex it creates will be a contained disruption in
the very fabric of reality!!
Drakken: States? Time? Energy?
Dementor: All will be twisted in a vortex of pure chaos!

Drakken: Let's get out of here!
Dementor: Did I mention that vortex will be the size of the state
of Nevada?
Drakken: Oh, we're in Nevada! How ironic.

Kim+Shego: Ugh!
Shego: Move and I can get it.

Kim: I'll get it.
Shego: It's gonna fall any second.
Kim: No duh!

Ron: Easy does it, ladies.
Kim: Ron, We can't mess around here. That thing's gonna wipe out
the entire state of Nevada.

Ron: Sounds like this is man's work.
Ron: Aargh!
Ron: Uh-oh.
Shego: So, he is as dumb as he looks.

Ron: ( Strains )

Barkin: ( in Ron's head ) Stoppable, the ideal man is big and/or
strong.'
Ron: Yeah, big and strong. This is not a problem for the new
me.
Katz: But Ronald, there was nothing wrong with the old you.
Ron: OK, Rabbi, get out of my head.

Kim: Ron, he's right. These instant muscles have got to go.
It's not the real you.
Ron: So many voices in my head!
Kim: Ron, we're talking to you through a ventilation shaft.
Katz: Ronald, the measure of a man is not about biceps or pecs.
Ron: How about rock-hard abs?

Kim: What he's saying is, take off the ring!
Ron: Not till I save the day!
Ron: It's gonna fall!
Kim: You've got to take off the ring!
Ron: ( Strains ) I can't do it!

Kim: Yes, you can.
Ron: No, I really can't.
Rufus: ( Strains )
Ron: Thanks, buddy.

Ron: Ooh!
Rufus: Hm.
Ron: Argh! This beeping is so irritated.

Ron: I shut it off! Is that OK?
Drakken: Ha-ha! Peachy.

Rufus: Grrrrrrr!

Katz: There you go, Ronald. Now it's official.
Ron's Mom: My little boy is a man. Again.
Ron's Dad: Congratulations.
Ron: Boo-yah!