Transcripts - Low Budget
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - Low Budget


Episode Low Budget
Language English
Type Closed Captioning
Date Written Unknown
Author Hazuki
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 2919


Kim: Thanks for helping with my marine biology paper, Jerry.
Jerry: After all you have done to help us save the manatees, it's
the least I could do, Kim.

Rufus: Waahhhh! ( Grunts ) What?!

Ron: Giant amphibious naked mole rat! One o'clock!
Kim: Ron, that's a manatee.
Jerry: Punjab is harmless.

Guy #1: Woo-hoo! Alright!
Jerry: I can't say the same for the other locals.

Ron: Those guys almost ran over Punjab!
Rufus: Pppthhhhhh!

% Zoom! Zoom!

Kim: I'll talk to them. Ugh!

Kim: Hey, boys! This is a wildlife preserve!

Guy #1: Girlie, we are the wildlife!
% Cheer.
Guy #1: She's gotta fix her make-up. ( Laughs )
Earl: Because we're so good-looking!
Kim: Hmm. Not quite.

Guy #1: Earl, what's she doing?
% Beep!
% Thunk!
% Both scream.

% Both cheer.

Guy #1: ( Scream ) Help! I can't swim!

Ron: Way to go, KP! Take a victory lap!
Jerry: Not a good idea!

Ron: Argh! Not a sea cow! Not a sea cow!

Ron: Don't worry, KP. I'll save you.
Ron: Well, doughnuts always fill me up!

Ron: Swim, Kimmie!

Kim: Argh!

Kim: Tell it to me straight. It's bad, right?
Ron: Sorry. The pants are DOA.
Kim: They were brand new Club Banana! Quick! Where's the
closest mall?
Jerry: Miami. But don't worry. There's one store in town that has
everything you need.

Kim: Smarty Mart?
Ron: Where smart shoppers shop smart.
Kim: But it's so discounty.
Ron: I know! It's great, isn't it!

Clerk: A big Smarty Marty how! Need a map?
Ron: She needs pants.

Kim: But not to wear. Just to have. Because this is an
emergency and,well, otherwise, believe me,... ( Laughs )
I wouldn't even be here.
Clerk: Emergency pants! Aisle ten. Happy Smarty Mart shopping.

Ron: You know, Smarty Mart is a perfectly respectable place
to shop. It's where I bought Rufus.
Ron+Rufus: Awe! Aisle 16!

Kim: I'm not shopping for livestock, OK? I need pants. As
in fashion. As in not Smarty Mart!
Ron: I buy clothes at Smarty Mart.
Rufus: Mhm!
Kim: Ewww!
Ron: What?!

% Beep beep.
Cahsier: That'll be $5.99.
Ron: Ten times less than you'd pay for the same pants at Club
Kim: So not the same!
Ron: You're such a retail snob.

Kim: Please, I am so not! Now can we get home before the
Middleton Mall closes?
Ron: Fine. Smarty Mart never closes.
Kim: Ron!
Ron: Nothing.

Kim: OK. Target in sight. Ready, Ron? ...Ron?

Ron: Steal Toe vs Pain King.
Kim: Ron! We're on an important mission here!
Ron: How's buying the same pair of pants you are currently
wearing a mission?
Kim: Hello! Smarty Mart pants and Club Banana pants are so not
the same. Now can we leave before someone sees me?
Bonnie: Hi, Kim. Nice pants. Double coupon day at Smarty Mart?

Kim: Haven't you heard, Bonnie? Discount is the new vintage.
Bonnie: I can't wait to tell the rest of the squad! Kim Possible
is a Smarty Mart shopper!

Kim: See? No-one cares that my pants were ten times less expensive
if they're not the same!
Ron: Relax, KP! Don't let Bonnie Rockwaller get your cheap pants
in a bunch.

% Static hiss.
Frugal: Hello, world. I am Frugal Lucar.

Ron: Who's that?
Frugal: Please, listen closely.
Kim: Freaky freak of the week.
Frugal: I may not have a million dollar laser weapon, or a pricy
robot army, but I have something those big-budget bad guys
Ron: Cheesy accent?

Frugal: Computer skills. In 24 hours, the Internet as you know it
will cease to exist. That's right!
Ron: Nice 'stache!
Frugal: The information super highway will crash. ...Unless
everyone in the world sends me a dollar. Or the equivalent
at the current rate of exchange. To prove I mean business,
I have sent you all a little e-mail. ( Laughs )
% Rip!

Kim: What's the sitch, Wade?

% Static hiss.
Kim: Wade?
Ron: You don't think that guy...?
Kim: Nuh.
Ron: Must need new batteries.

Ron: You have pants! Ask for batteries.

Kim: You don't understand. I need these pants!
Cashier: Yeah, no. Registers are down.
Kim: What?!
Cashier: Somebody whammed the computer system with a zillion
e-cards. Jerk!
Ron: Frugal Lucar!

Cashier: Yeah! Toasted erything. Even Smarty Mart.
Kim: Smarty Mart? Why would you mention Smarty Mart?
Cashier: Because Club Banana and Smarty Mart are owned by the same
company. Duh!
Ron: Oh, I suppose that's why the merchandise is exactly the
Cashier: No. There's a huge difference.

Ron: Wow! How did I miss that?
Kim: Thanks to this Frugal Lucar, I've got to go home and
Cashier: ( Yawns ) Whatever.

Ron: Retail snob!

Kim: Shut up!

Kim: Here, Mom. For the rag bin.
Kim's Mom: Kim, these pants look brand new.
Kim: Brand new from Smarty Mart!
Ron: Discountophobia.

Kim's Mom: I'm surprised at you, Kim. You know labels don't matter.
Kim's Dad: You know, some of the other guys at the lab only use
brand-name heat shields, but do I fall for that? You bet
I don't. Not as long as the generic shields are just as
good at half the price.
Kim: ( Sighs ) You don't wear heat shields, Dad.
Kim's Dad: Well, no. But if you were tunnelling to the earth's core
then you wish you'd wearing them!

Kim: Ugh!

% Beep.
Kim: Wade, where have you been?
Wade: My computer was down. Frugal Lucar strikes again!
Ron: Who is this freak?

Wade: No clue. The broadcast came from, like, 3,000 places at once.
But I may have a lead. There was a strange voice in the
Kim: That's a start. Playback time?

Frugal: In 24 hours, the Internet as you know it will cease to
exist. That's it. Yes. Yes. That's right. That's right.
The information super highway will crash.

Kim: Can you strip out Frugal?
Wade: It won't be easy, but,... done!

% Indistinct.
Kim: Maybe a little more base.
Ron: And scratch in a chanting monk. ...What? It'd be cool!
% Indistinct.
Kim: Shippers?
Wade: Maybe he's at a shipping yard?

Ron: Something tells me I've heard this voice before. Slow it
down a tad.
Voice: Attention, Smarty Mart shoppers.
Ron: Attention Smarty Mart shoppers! Lucar was broadcasting from
a Smarty Mart!
Kim: What kind of self-respecting villain threatens the world from
Smarty Mart?

Frugal: And so, billions of dollar bills will soon be mine!
( Laughs ) No. Ah-uh. No. No. That's not sinister enough.
OK. OK, maybe if I do the eyebrow thing.

Boss: Lerman! Your 15 is over!
Frugal: Oh, sorry, boss.
Frugal: Scary look. Oh, I'm gonna use that. ( Laughs )

Bonnie: Nice shirt, Kim. Five for 99 cents?
Kim: Hum!

Ron: You know, we could just send this guy his money. Compared
to most evil demands, a dollar is a bargain.
Kim: Cost is so not the issue, Ron. Stopping Lucar is a point of

Ron: Because you always have to get your bad guy?
Kim: Because I need to shop. Wade, inform me.
Wade: No luck. Lucar's broadcast could have originated from any
Smarty Mart in the country. And there's a lot of them.
Ron: 3,000 nation wide, with a new store opening every week. This
week, Poughkeepsie.
Kim: Why do you know that? ...Nevermind. Give me a freeze-frame
on Lucar, Wade.

% Static hiss.
Kim: Cheap, fake beards. Aisle nine.
Wade: I can digitise it out.
Kim: Now, we crosscheck this photo with the store personnel files.
And I'm back in bussiness for Club Banana.
Wade: Great idea, but Smarty Mart security is tight. It'll have to
be an inside job.

Ron: Inside? As in?
Wade: Plug the communicator directly into a Smarty Mart personnel
Kim: Which would be,...
Wade: In any Smarty Mart store.
Ron: Boo-yah! I need shampoo and underwear.

Rufus: Yippee!
Kim: Ugh! At least I can return the pants.

Kim: If you see anyone who could possibly know anyone we might
know, cover me.
Oscar: Ronny! A big Smarty Mart howdy to you. And who's your
mysterious friend?
Ron: Oscar, this is Kim. Now I know this is gonna sound crazy,
but she doesn't want anyone to know she shops here.

Kim: I don't shop here.
Oscar: Then you don't shop smart. Next month's circular. Advanced
Ron: Five pounds of marshmallows for a dollar?! How do they do
it, Oscar?
Oscar: Two words, Ronny. Volume and volume.
Kim: I hate to drag you away from the bargain hunt, but we're on
a none marshmallow related mission.

Ron: But Kim, these prices! They're out of control!
Kim: I'll find the personnel office. You return these, OK?
Ron: Right. I'm on it, KP. I'm focused.

Announcement: Attention Smarty Mart shoppers. Brainstorm in aisle
eight. For the next ten minutes, Pop Pop Poter's pizza
bagels are two for a dollar.
Rufus: ( Cheers )

Ron: We are so there!

Kim: ( Sighs )
Kim: Oof!
Mascot: Howdy, smart shopper! Are you lost?

Kim: No. Me? Just browsing.
Mascot: OK, then.
Kim: Dumb brain.

Kim: One mystery villain identity coming up. ( Gasps )

Toy: Z Boy Hungry!
Personnel Manager: Ooops.
% Crash.
Kim: Oh, there's my contact lens.

Ron: What could be taking her so long? Maybe we would better see
if Kim needs our help. Or a new set of shop towels on sale
for $3.99!

Rufus: ( Squeals ) What a deal!

PM: Very good, Miss Possible. Not many people realize that light
bulbs are housewares and hardware.
Kim: There is a fine line.
PM: How's minimum wage, plus all the recently expired canned goods
you can carry sound?

Kim: A job? At Smay Mart? I don't know what to say.
% Beep.
PM: Did you hear that?
Kim: Hear what?
PM: That beeping.
Kim: Oh, that sounds like it's coming from...

PM: From my computer.
Kim: Oh, that's mine. You know it can store up to 300 CDs?
PM: Ah! MP3 player. Aisle seven. Or is it eight?
Kim: I bought it at Smarty Mart online.
PM: Free shipping on orders over $25!

Kim: Yeah! It's spankin'.
PM: Wait! You need a name tag!

Ron: I know I don't have a car, but I can't resist these prices!
Kim: Ron! I got a match! Frugal Lucar is Francis Lerman.
Ron: Francis?! No wonder the dude's twisted!
Kim: We've only got a few hours to get to Philadelphia before the

Philadelphia, huh? So we'll need wheels!
Kim: Come on, you Smarty Mart shopper!
Ron: By the way, no cash back without a receipt, but credit's good
at any Smarty Mart.
Kim: Oh, goody!

Kim: Thanks for the ride, Polly.
Polly: You kiddin'? You campaigned for alternate-side-of-the-street
parking awareness saved my life.

Kim: What's 10,000 windshield flyers? No big!

Kim: On three.
Kim+Ron: One. Two. Three.
% Rings bell.
Ron: Argh! Hit the dirt!

Kim: Hi, Mrs. Lerman. Is Francis home?

Mrs.Lerman: Francis didn't tell me he had friends coming. I would
have made more toaster tasties.
% Slap.
Kim: We thought we'd surprise him.
Mrs.Lerman: He'll be thrilled. He's in the basement. Go down and
make yourselves at home.
Kim: We will.

Kim: Shh!
Kim: Looks like someone's been using his employee discount.
Frugal: Kim Possible. we meet at last! Oh, this is so cool!
Ron: Drop it, mama's boy!
Frugal: Am not! Don't come any closer. This thing's loaded!

Kim: With what?
Frugal: Beef bouillon. Ever try to get the smell out? You
can't! ( laughs )
Kim: Ew!
Ron: He's right, Kim. Do what he says.

Mrs.Lerman: I thought you kids might be thirsty, so I brought two
Frugal: Ma! I'm with my friends!
Mrs.Lerman: Sorry, Francis. Could I get anyone some chips or
Kim+Ron: No, thank you, Mrs. Lerman.

Frugal: I suppose you're here to stop me? But you're too late!
Soon the world's fortune will be mine! ( Laughs )

Ron: Fortune?
Kim: You only asked for a dollar per person.
Frugal: As we say at Smarty Mart, every dollar counts.
Kim: Oh, please! Face it, Lucar. You're not a real villain.
You're a... bargain bad guy.
Frugal: Just cos I'm budget conscious, doesn't mean I'm not as evil
as the other villains. Sure! They have henchmen and their
fancy lairs, but I deliver the exact same evil at a fraction
of the cost. Observe.

Kim+Ron: Hey!
Frugal: This is when I should reveal my evil plan, right?
Kim: Go ahead.
Frugal: Behold! Frugal Lucar's world!
Ron: Small world, Francis!

Frugal: It was a close-out. Now, every Smarty affiliate is
connected via the Internet, right? Well, all it takes to
release a commerce-crippling virus is this.
Kim: Ham-in-can?
Frugal: Vienna sausages. I altered the UPC code to act as the
virus trigger. When it's scanned through checkout, my virus
will be launched from every single Smarty Mart at the same
time. Goodbye e-mail. Nice to know you, chat rooms.
Sayonara, online shopping!
Kim: You are planning to destroy the Internet with old can of
Frugal: Yes, I get expired food free and death rays are expensive.
And just in case you try anything cute...

% Snap! Snap!
Kim: Snapping turtles?
Ron: Aisle ten. Next to the goldfish.
Frugal: ( Laughs ) And they're hungry.

Kim: ( Gasps )
Frugal: ( Laughs )
Ron: Well, he has the laugh down.

% Snap! Snap!

% Snap! Snap!
Rufus: Ugghhh.
Kim: Come on, Rufus. Pretend it's string cheese. And hello!
Do you have to chew so loud?!
Ron: If you want to fall into a pit of snapping turtles, be my

% Snap!
All: Whoa! Argh! Umph!
% Turtles scream.
Kim: Maybe next time he'll spring for piranha. Come on! We've
got to find that can of expired sausages.
Rufus: Mmmmm!

Frugal: ( Laughs ) And now, an evil genius's fortune is mine!
( Laughs )

% Buzz.
Frugal: Oh! Argh! $17.28! Argh! Alright! That's it.
% Beep.

Frugal: Citizens of the world, you have failed. It would have cost
you mere dollar. Five minutes from now, I'll destroy the
Internet and cost you millions. So, if anyone still wants to
send that dollar, do it now, OK?
% Crowd grumbles.
Mob: I ain't givin' you no dollar,...
No way,...

Frugal: ( Laughs ) Little does she know,... ( Laughs )

Oscar: Howdy and welcome to Smarty Mart, where...
Kim: shoppers shop smart. I get it, OK?
Ron: Kim!

Kim: OK, Lucar! Cough up the sausages.
Ron: Ew! Rephrase, please.
Frugal: You're too late. My Vienna surprise is already in place.
Observe. The Internet will be destroyed in three. Two.
One. But... Wha... Wha... Oh. No! That can't be.
Kim: She must have put it back on the shelf.

Ron: Canned meat. Aisle 22.

Kim: I don't even want to think about how you know that. OK, Frugal
Lucar planted his Internet virus on an expired can.
Ron: And Smarty Mart's policy states if it's expired, it's retired.
So it should be easy to find.
Kim: Oh, boy!

Frugal: Attention, Smarty Mart shoppers! We're having a brainstorm
in aisle 22. Vienna sausages. Ten cans for a dollar!

Ron: That was fast.
Kim: I'll find Lucar. You find the can.

Ron: I'm on it.

Frugal: ( Laughs )

Kim: OK,... creepy.

% Put-put-put.
Kim: ( Gasps )

Frugal: ( Laughs )
Kim: Give it up, Lucar!
Frugal: Never!
% Smash!
Kim: Aaaargh! Omph! Ugh!

Frugal: ( Laughs ) Agh!
% Smash! Crash!

Ron: Try non-fat turkey dogs.
% Squish! Squish!
Ron: Can have that? Thank you.

Ron: No, Can't have this.
Ron: Sorry. Must be 18 years or older.
Ron: Have you tried devilled ham? It's zesty!
Rufus: Hmm... Uph.

Kim: These aren't half bad. Umph!

% Crash.
Frugal: ( Laughs )

Kim: Can I borrow this? Please and thank you.

Ron: Sir, the future of the Internet's in your hands. Just give me
the sausages.
Man: Not at the prices, bargain boy!

Ron: Wow! Look at the price on that process cheese!
Man: Oh, the cheese!
Ron: 1999. Kim! I got the can!
Kim: And I got Lucar! Umph!
% Click.

Oscar: Thanks for shopping at Smarty Mart.

% Alarm rings.
Frugal: Umph! Argh!
Oscar: Up against the wall, dirt bag. Move! Move! Move!

Ron: These are still pretty good. And what an interesting
Kim: I gotta admit, Lucar. Your bargain-brand villainy was right
up there with big-budget evil.

Frugal: You might have stopped me this time, Kim Possible. But
Frugal Lucar will return. ( Laughs ) If my mom bails me out.

Ron: $1.50 for a soft pretzel! Cafeteria lady must think I'm made
of money!
Kim: Pretzels are on sale to for a dollar at Smarty Mart.
Ron: No way, KP!
Kim: The store manager was so grateful, he gave me a $100 gift
certificate. And It really is silly to pay designer label
prices for the same stuff. Unless you're paying for a really
really super cool pair of boots like these!

Ron: You mean these boots right here?
Kim: Ron, they aren't exactly the same. Look! Smarty Mart boots
come in black. Club Banana's are onyx.
Ron: Urgh!