Transcripts - Two to Tutor
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - Two to Tutor


Episode Two to Tutor
Language English
Type Closed Captioning
Date Written Unknown
Author Hazuki
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 2701


Kim: Thanks for the ride, Colonel Dimitri. This is our stop.
Ron: Er, for once can't we just land like, taxi to a gate or

Rufus: Oh, please! Wuh!
Kim: I hope we're not too late.
Ron: Aaagh!

% Bell rings.
Monique: Kim, where have you been?
Kim: Ruthless dictator. Don't ask.

Monique: Registration for electives started, like, foever ago!
Kim: Tell me there are still spots in photography class.
Monique: Girl, they're fillin' up fast.
Ron: Hey, guys! Hello! A little help up here!

Kim: Come on, come on, photography.

Ron: Kim, Kim, Kim. You need a backup and a backup for your
backup. See, photography is my third choice. So even if
kick boxing and interpretive dance are full, I'm still
Bonnie: Congratulate me, Kim. I got the very last spot in
Kim: Photography is full?
Bonnie: ( Laughs ) It is now. I would have preferred interpretive
dance or kick boxing, but they were already closed.

Kim: Then, what's left?
Kim: Home economics?! They can't be serious.
Ron: Financial planning? Never been one of my strong suit.
Kim: It's worse than that, Ron. It's cooking.

Sr.: The disappointment I feel in you is immeasurable, Jr. However,
I will be the first to admit, it is not your fault.
Jr.: It is not?
Sr.: There are no bad students, only bad teachers. If you have
failed to become a competent supervillain,... it's because
I have failed to reach you.
Jr.: Fine. I do not hold a grudge.
Sr.: To remedy this, I have secured the services of a qualified

Jr.: A tutor? You mean like the nice lady you hired to do all my
homework in grades K through 12?
Sr.: No, my son! No, not like Miss Bunny. A tutor in villainy.
Jr.: Could you move? You are blocking my sun.

Shego: Ya!
% Smashing.
Shego: Lesson one, eyes wide, especially to people who can hurt you.

% Rubber ring squeaks.

Kim: Home ec? I can't believe we got stuck with such a lame
Ron: Yeah. Hey, I wonder if we get to eat what we make!

% Door creaks.
Kim: Where is everybody?
Ron: We are everybody.

Rufus: Hmm. Huh? Eww!
Barkin: Listen up, people. The regular home ec teacher retired
six years ago. Nobody noticed until this morning. So I'll
be covering this class. Er,... where is the class?
Kim+Ron: Present.
Barkin: Oh! Alright, take your dusty and filth-covered seats,
% Squelching.

Shego: Let's get started. The first thing that every good villain
needs is...
% Music blares.
Shego: ( Snarls )
Jr.: Hey, I was listening to that!
Shego: Yeah, and now you're listening to me!

Shego: Now, the first thing that every villain needs is...?
Jr.: I know this one. An evil laugh.
Shego: Oh, for cryin' out...! Your old man has totally warped your
mind. Try again.
Jr.: Er, a villainous calling card? A robust tan? Spinning tops
of doom? Are you going to slash something again, aren't you?
Shego: ( Growls ) The first thing that every villain needs is the
basic tools of the trade. ( Sighs ) Now follow me. We're
going on a little field trip.

Barkin: The first thing every chef needs is the basic tools of the
trade. Your helmet and shovel.
Ron: Er, Mr B, question.
Barkin: ( Sighs ) If you must, Stoppable.
Ron: Er, would you mind...? Can I ask you where you, you know,
erm, learned to cook?

Barkin: It was 30 klicks southeast of Hia-lai.

[ Flashback ]
Soldior: Lieutenant Barkin, when do we chow?
Barkin: As soon as I catch something, sir. Huh!
% Squealing.

[ Back to home ec ]
Barkin: How else would you learn the slop jockey's art?
Ron: Yeah, well, when I was eight, my mom got me a Granny
Crocket Quickie-Bake Mixer and Oven set.
Barkin: Really?
Ron: I don't mean to brag but my camel turtle brownies was a
real hit amongst all my friends.

Barkin: Alright, Granny's boy,... let's see what you can do.

Ron: Huh?!

% Ping!.

Rufus: Mmm! Yummy!
Barkin: ( Sniffs ) Mmm! Impressive, Stoppable.

Barkin: Possible, let's get cookin'!
Kim: No big.

Kim: Hmm? Oops!
Kim: Oh! ( Groans )
% Blender screeches.

Kim: Aaagh!
Kim: Oof! Oof Oof!

Jr.: Could we not just buy these item?
Shego: N-n-no. Criminals don't buy anything. Besides, this gives
you something money can't buy,... experience.

Kim: Let's see, there's mix, blend, beat, cream, knead, churn.
Oh, here, whip ought to do it.

Kim: ( Groans ) Ugh!
% Splat!.
Barkin: ( Snarls )
Kim: Whoopsie!

Barkin: Maybe a more competent student can tell you what you're
doing wrong. Stoppable.
Ron: Be glad to, Mr B.

Ron: Someone can disarm a doomsday device, you seem to have major
mixer issues.
Kim: Ron, this machine hates me.
Ron: It senses your fear.
Ron: Watch me.

Ron: Let the beating of the blades and the beating of your heart
marge together. You and the mixer become one.
Ron: Now you try, and tell me what you feel.
Kim: I... feel... ridiculous!
Ron: That, Kim,... is why you fail.

% Clicking.
Kim: Take me... with you.

Barkin: It's like a chocolate cloud.
Ron: Yes, I was going for cloud!
Barkin: That settles it. I am officially turning this class
over to you.
Ron+Rufus: A-boo-yah!
Kim: Wade, code red. Ron is now teaching our class. Tell me
somebody somewhere needs my help!

Wade: Actually, it's been pretty quiet.
Kim: Come on. A cat stuck in a tree, ...anything!
Wade: I've got a series of robberies in Europe, but it looks
Kim: Sold! I'll take it, as long as it doesn't involve

Man#1: I don't understand it, all they took was two pair of
infrared goggles.
Man#2: Two coils of climbing rope.
Man#3: Two grappling hooks.
Woman: Two parachutes!
Francois: All of it, every last jar! Oh, my pauvre Le Goop!

Ron: Le Goop? Hmm, a clue.
Francois: I caught a glimpse of them. There was a boy, tall and
slim, but a few crepes short of a suze.
Kim: Let me guess, he was with an older gentleman, strong
family resemblance?
Francois: Mais non! A young lady. She had the glowing green
Ron: Shego and Junior? Together?!

Shego: Mm-hmm. Mh-hmm. OK, hair care was not on the list.
Jr.: I have the cowlick issues.
Shego: Yeah, fine. Whatever.
Shego: OK, you're ready for the next and most important step.
Every villain needs an evil plot. Take Drakken. His plot,
yeah, always taking over the world. Always.
Jr.: Oooh, can we do that?!

Shego: No, you gotta walk before you can run, sport. Let's start
Jr.: Oh! How about more thieving?
Shego: Good answer. It would have to be something valuable and
heavily guarded. Let's see. Almost got something. Hold on.
No, no. Don't say a word. It's on the tip of my tongue.
I got it.
Sr.: Hello! I thought I'd see how you kids are doing.
Shego: I lost it.

Jr.: Oh, Father!
Sr.: If I've come at a bad time...
Shego: Well, yeah. ( Laughs ) Yeah, you did. Yeah, you know what?
Thanks for stoppin' by!

Jr.: Maybe we just run the web search for "really valuable" and
"heavily guarded".

Shego: O...K.
Jr.: I am learning from the best.
Both: Ah-hm. Ah-hm. Ah-haaah!
Shego: Yes! Sweet!

Kim: Erm, isn't it lunchtime?
Lunchlady: Yep.
Kim: OK, where is everybody?
Lunchlady: The home-ec room. I got a 12:45 reservation myself.
Oh, gotta run!
Kim: Reservation?

Kim: Excuse me! Excuse me. Can I get through here?! Some of us
actually take this class?
Kim: ( Gasps ) Rufus?
Rufus: Hmm. How many?
Kim: Huh?

% All gasp.
Ron: I call it The Seven Layers Of Heaven.

Kim: Mr. Barkin, what's going on here?
Barkin: World-class dining, that's what.
Kim: Erm, but the... cafeteria, it's totally empty right now.
Barkin: Good point. I guess it would make more sense if I just put
Chef Ro-nald here in charge of food services for the whole

Kim: Chef Ro-nald? This is so wrong.
Barkin: Now, don't worry, Possible, you'll get class credit by
assisting him. Somebody's gotta do the dishes.
Kim: Not likely!
Barkin: I guess you're right, Possible.
Kim: Thank you.

Barkin: Not without your hairnet. Here.
Kim: Ugh!

Jr.: Huh! Ugh!
Jr.: Huh!
Shego: Ugh! Yaah!

Sr.: Ah, did I not warn you that he would be a difficult pupil?
Shego: Actually, he's a pretty good listener once you get his
Sr.: Junior? My son? ( Chuckles ) He's certainly never listened
Shego: Love to chat, can't. Kinda busy here, pop.

Sr.: ( Sighs ) Ah, very well.

Ron: Now time for a little cinnamon, and you all know what that
means... boo-yah!
All: ( chant ) Boo-yah! Boo-yah! Boo-yah!

Kim: We're out of the lamb but I recommend the stroganoff.
Bonnie: Guess what, Kim. You're gonna be my final project for
photography. It's a photo essay I call Fashion Never Evers.
% Bleeping.
Kim: Hey, Wade. What's the deal on Shego and Junior?
Wade: What's the deal on your hair?

Kim: Nothing! Shego, Junior?
Wade: OK. I just found something that might interest you. I'll
fax it.
Kim: Cool. Thanks, Wade.

Rufus: Huh?! ( Sighs )

Shego: Pretty good time,... for a wounded tortoise.
Sr.: Junior, how about you and I work on our evil laughs together,
huh? ( Laughs ) Just like we used to?
Jr.: Oh, Father, please! Can't you see I'm a wounded porpoise?
Shego: No, I said tortoise. T. T. Tortoise.

Jr.: See, Father, how mixed up you make me?!
Sr.: ( Sighs )

Ron: Let's see. For tomorrow I'm feeling... chickeny.
Rufus: ( Clucks )

Kim: Villain's Digest. Bad guys have their own magazine?
Wade: Complete with want ads, including one placed by Senor Senior,
Kim: Tutor wanted. Excellent pay, meals included.
Ron: I bet my meals are better.
Kim: Hey, focus, Ron! "Tutor wanted", get it? That explains
which Shego is doing with Junior.

Ron: Hey! She's tutoring him, just like I'm tutoring you in
Kim: Yeah, great. So, now we just have to figure out what she's
tutoring him for.
Rufus: Huh?! ( Sighs )

Shego: Yah! Ugh!

Shego: Not bad.
Sr.: Hello. I thought I'd look...

% Alarm beeps.

Shego: That was... perfect, Junior! You're ready for the real deal.

Kim: The Seniors are all about the challenge, they only go for
stuff that's really valuable and heavily-guarded.

Ron: You know, we could just run a web search on the words "really
valuable" and "heavily-guarded".
Kim: Ron, we're talking a devious criminal mind here. It's not as
simple as...
Wade: Got it! Great idea, Ron.
Ron: I can cook, too.

Kim: ( Growls )

Kim: So the most heavily-guarded thing in the world... is a
cookie recipe?
Ron: Kim, this isn't just any recipe! Granny Crocket took the
humble chocolate-chip cookie and raised it to an art form!
Rufus: ( Chuckles )

Kim: Amp down, Ron, I can hear your stomach growling.
Ron: Not... my stomach.
Rufus: Uh-oh-uh-oh!

Texan: This here's private property y'all standin' on.

Kim: Yeah. Hi. My name is Kim Possible. I have reason to
believe your cookie recipe is in danger.
Granny: Y'all can relax, darlin'. We know all about it.
Texan: Well, hey, Granny!
Kim: Granny Crocket?
Ron: No?! You look too young to be Granny Crocket.

Granny: ( Laughs ) Well, Granny had a little work done.

Granny: We received this anonymous video this mornin'.

Sr.: This message is to warn you that two thieves will be attempting
to steal your chocolate-chip recipe.
Jr.: Father, what are you doing in the dark?
Sr.: Junior, no! The lights!

Texan: ( Laughs ) Oh, Yankees! ( Spits wetly )
Kim: Actually, they have their own European island.
Texan: They ain't from Texas, that's all I know.

Granny: Bring 'em on. We're ready.

Granny: My competitors would do anything to get their paws on my
Texan: This vault is two foot of titanium-reinforced concrete.
Even if they could get in, we got a little surprise for 'em.
Rufus: Huh?!
Texan: Hold up, little varmint!

Rufus: ( Gulps )
Kim: Infrared beams. Back up, Rufus.

Granny: So you see, kids, my recipe is as heavily guarded as can
Texan: As much as we all appreciate all y'all's concern, we're
just fine on our own, little missy!

% Clang!.
Kim: He did not just call me "little missy".
Ron: Free samples, Kim. Life is good.

Kim: Wade, pull up everything you can on Granny Crocket's security
Wade: Done and done. What's your plan?

Kim: Little missy's gonna get to that cookie recipe before Shego
and Junior do.

Shego: Good, right on schedule.
Guarg: Hold it, right there!
Shego: OK. we've practised this. Just a gentle toss.
Shego: Perfect! Now the hounds.
% Barking.

Jr.: You'd think they'd be wise to the steak trick.
Shego: Yeah, they're just dumb animals.
Jr.: Unlike us. Yes!
Shego: Not bad!
Jr.: I learned from the best.

Shego: Oh! Well, that's so sweet!

Shego: Yah!

Shego: OK, SSJ, you've got exactly two minutes, starting now.
Shego: Agh!
Jr.: I've got it!
Shego: A-plus. Let's bolt!

Jr.: This is a very strange secret recipe.
Shego: What?!
Jr.: "You are so busted." Shouldn't there be some mention of
flour or eggs?
Shego: Let me see! This isn't...!
Kim: The recipe?

Shego: ( Gasps )
Kim: Rufus, go!
Rufus: Ugh! Ta-da!
% Alarm blares.
Jr.: Everything was going so well.

Ron: That's a cool outfit, guy.
Jr.: You think so? I fear it makes me look beefy in the booty,
if you know what I mean?
Ron: I do and it doesn't.
Jr.: You are too kind. Now I must attack!
% Whack!.

Ron: Oof! OK, Junior's got some new moves. Maybe I've got some
new moves, too.
Jr.: Really?
Rufus: Really!
Ron: Wazzo! Waaah! Wazza! Ayo!
Jr.: Those are the same old moves.

Shego: Yah!
Kim: Aaagh! Oh!
Shego: You know, I've discovered the joys of teaching. It's very

Ron: Wazza! Wazzo!
Ron: Ahhh! Ooh, smell that? Vanilla.

Rufus: Mmm, 'nilla.
Ron: Oof! Aaagh!
Jr.: Nowhere to run, Ron Stoppable. Let me show you some other
thing I have learned.
Jr.: Aagh!
Rufus: Wah-hah!

Ron: Don't forget the sprinkles!

Shego: 14 settings to choose from. How does whipped Possible sound
to you? Ooh, or maybe minced Possible?
Kim: 14 settings?
Shego: You know what? A Kimmy frappe sounds just right.
Kim: ( Gasps )

Kim: Agh!
Shego: Have a nice spin!

Ron: Kim, do not fear the mixer. Let the beating of the blades and
the beating of your heart merge together. You and the mixer
become one.

Shego: ( Gasps ) Agh!
Shego: Oof!

Kim: Junior isn't the only one who's been tutored. Ironic, no?

Ron: You know what? They belong together.
Kim: Hah! In jail.

Shego: So do I pass or fail?
Sr.: You both fail. Young lady, we will no longer be in need of
your services.
Shego: Have your way, Pops. I've already made other arrangements.

Shego: Mwah!

Jr.: You changed my life. I will never forget you!
Sr.: And now, my son, we will return home and polish our evil
laughs together, huh? ( Laughs ) That'll be nice, huh?

Kim: Too bad about your restaurant.
Ron: Yeah. Well, when the health inspector saw a live rodent, you
know, "serving" the food, the die was cast.

Rufus: Sorry.
Kim: Bright side I hear that, like, half the student buddy wants
to get into home-ec now.
Ron: And photography's wide open. You could jump ship.
Kim: Nah. I think I'm gonna stick it out here.
Ron: Hey, not too shabby, KP! I'm seeing major improvement.

Kim: No big. I've got a great tutor.