Transcripts - Car Trouble
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - Car Trouble


Episode Car Trouble
Language English
Type Closed Captioning
Date Written Unknown
Author Hazuki
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 2951


Ron: Kim, this isn't just a big deal, it's a big hairy deal!
Kim: It's driver's ed, Ron, no big.

Ron: This isn't any old class, KP, this is a right of passage!
Kim: Today we get behind the wheel of Detroit steel! I repeat,
no big.
Ron: Oh, really, Kim? Need I remind you Russell Nelemeyer? He
flunked driver's ed and he lives in parents' basement and he
takes the bus to his job as a taxidermist!
Rufus: ( Chuckles )

Kim: Russell has a lot of issues.
Ron: Yes, and they all started in driver's ed.

Barkin: People, today is the most important day of your young
lives. Today you pass through the doorway to adulthood.
Today... you drive.
% All cheer.
Barkin: But first a film. Lights.

Narrator: This used to be Judy's car and what a swell car it was.
Down right nifty for going to sock hops and soda parlours.

Kim: What's the sock hop?
Kim: What's the soda parlour?

Narrator: But that was all before Judy's keen little coupe became...
The Ghost Car!

Barkin: You could imagine what that carnage would look like in
% Screeching / crashing.
Barkin: Don't look away, people!

Bonnie: He said that? Well, he just moved from hottie to naughty.

Barkin: OK, who's ready to roll?!
Rufus: ( Gasps ) Ugh!

Freeman: True, the microcircuitry problem has yet to be solved,
and of course, there is the positronic interface to think
about, but the basic theoretical work is sound, right?
Or am I completely cracked? Well?!
Toaster: I'm thinking! I'm thinking! ...Done thinking. It'll
Freeman: Wonderful!
% Appliances cheer.
Freeman: Let's celebrate. Blender, whip up a banana smoothie.

Blender: You got it, Doctor Freeman.
Freeman: Stereo, party mix, if you please.
Stereo: Ah, yeah! Crankin' it up, baby.
Microwave: I've got a pita pocket and I'm ready to warm.
Freeman: Microwave, you know me all too well.

Drakken: Cancel that order. Goodmorning, Doctor Freeman!
% Salsa music.

Drakken: Urgh! You're coming with me!
Freeman: What?! I...!
Microwave: Someone's tryin' to take Doctor Freeman! Attack!

Drakken: Aaaagh!
% Bleeping
% Boom!
Drakken: Aagh! Make it stop! Make it...
% Electricity whirrs down.
Drakken: ...stop. What happened?
Shego: You know, for someone who's supposedly a mad genius,
I'm not seeing much of the geniuos.

Drakken: Keep it up, Shego, and you'll see plenty of the mad.
Shego: Ooh, scary man.

Freeman: Erm, pardon me, but what is it you two want?
Drakken: You're going to help me, Doctor Freeman, with a little
problem I'm having. And pay for my dry-cleaning, as well.

% Tyres screech.
% Whack!
% Whack!
% Whack!
% Tyres screech / crashing
Ron: Er, the school's insurance'll cover the damage, right?

Rufus: ( Groans )
Barkin: Looks like you and old Russ Needlemeyer are gonna spend a
quality time together at the bus stop.
% Both sigh.

Barkin: Rockwaller, break the string of spirit-crushing failures.

Bonnie: He's a froob, but a beautiful froob.
Barkin: Rockwaller!
Bonnie: ( Sighs ) I gotta do this thing. Flip side. Let's drive.

Barkin: You are ready for the pro-circuit, Rockwaller.
Ron: Wow! Bonnie passed?

Bonnie: Don't choke.
Kim: Only when I see you.

Barkin: This should be a cinch for you, Possible.
Kim: Right. No big, Mr. B.

Barkin: What are you think you doin'?

Kim: Starting the car?
Barkin: Without your seat belt?
Kim: Oh, yeah, right.
% Engine revs.
Barkin: And what are you doin'?!
Kim: Er, driving.

Barkin: Not without checkin' your mirror you're not, missy!
Kim: Mirror. Gotcha.

Ron: ( Echoing, drawn out voice ) Right of passage!
Barkin: adulthood!

Narrator: ...Ghost Car!
Bonnie: Don't choke!
Barkin: Put it in gear... ( normal voice ) Put it in gear,
Kim: Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.

Barkin: Watch your speed!
% Tyres screech.
Barkin: Cut the wheel. This isn't jolly old England, Possible!
Kim: Huh?
Barkin: Right side!
Kim: Oh.

Barkin: Squirrel!
Kim: Squirrel? Is that like a K-turn?
Barkin: It's like a squirrel!
Kim: ( Gasps )

% Tyres screech.
Kim: So... do I pass?

Freeman: Hm, some sort of manufacturing facility.
Drakken: Very observant, Doctor Freeman. This factory once
manufactured family station wagons, but I've twisted it...
Freeman: My parents had a station wagon. To sock hops and soda
parlours and...
Drakken: Oh, neato. Where was I?!

Shego: Twisted it.
Drakken: I've twisted it to a grander purpose, a far more insidious
threat, a much deadlier...
Shego: He's building an army of robots.
Drakken: Why do you do that? The evil rant is one of the best
perks of the job!
Shego: It's boring!

Drakken: ( Snarls ) Bring in the Destructobts!

Freeman: You've already built your robot army so why do you need me?
Drakken: It's really just a formality. Dot the i and...
Shego: I'll show you. I guess it's pretty... Destructobots,
% Whoosing
% Boom!
% Whack!
% Whack!
% Whack!
% Whack!

Shego: Destructobots, switch off!
% All whirr down.

Drakken: Alright, fine, my Destructobots are stupid! Your
creations, on the other hand, are smart.
Freeman: Smart and funny. My toaster's, by the way, always good
for when you...
Drakken: I just want the smart.
Freeman: Forget it! I'll never help you!

Drakken: I was hoping you'd say that. You given me the chance to
test... the Brain-Sifter!

Rufus: Yeah, hey! ( Giggles )
Ron: So, as you can see from this very conclusive demonstration,
it's not so much that I lost control of the car, as it is
they built the gym too close to the parking lot.
Kim: I never choke. Ever. Check the motto. I can do anything.

Ron: Right, you can do anything, including fail. See the logic?

Bonnie: If you'd been in a remote-control car you might have
passed, as long as Crash Stoppable wasn't at the controls.
Ron: Just because you're the only one who passed, doesn't
Rufus: Weeee!
Ron: Hold that thought. Rufus!

Ron: Rufus, come back! Oh, he's gone! He's gone forever!
( Sobs ) My sweet naked mole rat! Why?! Why?!
% Tyres screech.
Ron: Good to have you back, little buddie.
Rufus: ( Squeaks )

Kim: I am so over cars. There's nothing wrong with walking.
Ron: Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking this whole driving thing is way

Ron: Did Thomas Jefferson drive a car? Did George Washington? The
Wright brothers flew airplan but did they drive? Actually
I don't know but the point is...
Kim: We're being followed.
Ron: Really? Are you sure?

Kim: Only one way to find out.

Ron: ( Pants )
Kim: This way!

Ron: Aagh! ( Groans ) Ugh!

% Crashing.
% Cat shrieks.

% Bicycle bell tinkles.

Ron: I'd just like to point out that that was "two" fences in a row
and I didn't rip my pants!
Kim: Let no-one doubt your fence-jumping skills, Ron. Now move.
% Ripping.
Ron: ( Groans )

Kim: What happened to you?
Ron: Nothing!
Kim: I think we lost the car.
% Car engine roars.
% Crash!.
Sadi: Kim Possible?

Kim: Yes.
Sadi: I've come for you.
Ron: Ghost car!

Ron: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Gah! Gah! Gah! Gah!

Sadi: Does he do this often?
Kim: Almost daily. Ron, Chill. I highly doubt this SUV is
possessed by spirits.
Sadi: I'm a Systemised Automotive Driving Intelligence, but my
passengers call me Sadi.
Ron: No ghosts?
Sadi: No ghosts. I am equipped with ejector seat disintegrator ray
and I come in variety of colours.

Kim: Cool!
Sadi: What about the monogram too much?
Kim: I like.
Ron: Wow! That drinks holder could hold king-sized slurpster!

Rufus: King-sized? Yum!
Kim: I'm impressed, but what do you want from me?
Sadi: Some freaks snatch my inventor, Doctor Freeman. I found your
Kim: I've never had a hit from a car before.
Sadi: Can you really do anything?

Ron: Oh, yeah, except a K-turn.
Kim: Any clue who did it?
Sadi: Clueless, but the blender might know something.
Ron: Did you say Blender?

Blender: I-I-It was all so chaotic.

Ron: That's a talkin' blender, alright.
Rufus: Oh, Creepy!
Kim: Just tell us whatever you can about the people who took
Doctor Freeman.
Blender: One of them was roguish and the other was petulant.

Kim: Roguish and petulant? Erm, OK, can you be a little more
Ron: Height, weight, anything that might be a bit useful?!
Blender: Look, I wasn't built with eyes.
Sadi: Try the toaster!

Toaster: Truth, people. I was concentrating on making the toast
that was perfect golden brown.
Ron: Good man.
Microwave: Wait, I just remembered!
Kim: Spill.
Microwave: Their body temperature was at 98.6 degrees.

Ron: Oh, Great! That narrows the list of suspects down to...
everybody in whole wide world.
Blender: This no need to get testy.
Ron: Sorry, but generally KP and I get more to go on. A
picture, maybe, or fingerprints.
Kim: Or even a voice.
Stereo: Did you say a voice? I recorded the whole thing, baby.

Ron: You wait until Blender and I about to mix it up to
mention this?!

Stereo: "Good morning, Doctor Freeman. You're coming..."
Kim+Ron: Drakken!

Drakken: My compliments, Dr. Freeman. You've survived the Brain-
Sifter and the Mind Drill, and the Cranial Drain! I didn't
want to do this, Doctor. But you've forced my hand! Help
me, please! Come on!
Freeman: Your entreaties are falling on deaf ears.

Shego: Just like I thought. This guy won't help us because he
can't help us.
Drakken: Shego, what do you say? The man's a genius!
Freeman: The world leading expert on computerise automation.
Shego: If you really knew his stuff, he fix your robots and be
on his way. Right, Dr. Drakken?
Drakken: Huh? Oh, I see. Yes, you're right. This Freeman clearly
is a poser.

Freeman: What?
Shego: We should grabbed another scientist.
Drakken: Yes, perhaps somebody from community college.
Freeman: I can program circles around those buffoons!
Shego: You talk the talk. Prove it.

Freeman: Can't even program a VCR at that place.
Drakken: Bet you can't fix my death ray, either!
Shego: Hey, don't push it. Can you not?

Kim: Pop quiz, Wade. Drakken plus an expert on computerised
intelligence equals...
Wade: Evil robot army?

Kim: Has to be.
Wade: I'll cross-reference abandoned factories with shipments of
robotic parts and micro processor orders.
Kim: You techno-rock, Wade.
Wade: I try. This is a needle-haystack scenaro, Kim. It might take
Kim: I'll check in after school.

Kim: Later, Dad.
Kim's Dad: Need a ride to school?
Kim: Already got one.
Kim's Dad: With a boy?
Kim: No, a self-driving computerised vehicle.

Kim's Dad: Okey-dokey. As long as it's not a boy.

Ron: The moment of truth is here. Yes, it fits! The king-sized
slurpster fits!
Sadi: Alright, alright. Put a lid on it. You look like a spiller.
Rufus: Brain freeze!
Ron: What's wrong, KP? There's a driver's-side drink-holder too.

Kim: I'm good on the beverage front. It's driver's ed.
Ron: Oh yeah. Forgot about that.
Sadi: Excuse me? Driver's education?
Ron: Mr. Barkin's test course is deadly.

Kim: Heinous and deadly.
Sadi: Hello? What am I missing here?! Self-driving car. I was
made for this.
Ron: Right! We take Barkin's test in Sadi and we ace it perfect,
Kim: No, Ron, I'm not gonna cheat.
Ron: Is using a calculator in algebra cheating?

Kim: I don't use a calculator.
Ron: OK. Is catting pasting stuff from the internet and calling
it a paper cheating?
Kim: You are kidding, right?
Ron: What?

Kim: I can pass this test on my own. I know I can.

Guy: Argh!
% Smash.
Ron: You know what they say, Mr. B. Any crash you can walk away
Barkin: Stoppable, I've got two words for you. Public

Barkin: ( Echoing, drawn out voice ) Right of passage.
Ron: Doorway to adulthood.
Sadi: I was made for this.

Barkin: Get in the car. In the car, Possible!

Kim: Oh. Right. Sorry.

Bonnie: She's already choking.

Sadi: I can't just idle and watch this.

Kim: What are you doing?
Barkin: State-mandated paperwork. Are we doing this test or not,

Kim: Yes, sir.
Sadi: Don't worry, sweetie. I've got you covered.
Barkin: How's that?!
Kim: I, um... I've got it covered, um, sweetie.
Barkin: I... am impervious to sweet-talk, Possible. Start the car!

Barikin: Well done. Now let's see you k-turn.
Sadi: K-turn? Honey, I'll give you the whole alphabet.
Barkin: Pardon me?
Kim: Um, you might wanna hang on.

Barkin: You even dotted the "i". Magnificent. A plus, plus!

Kim: Hmm.

Ron: You aced it! I knew you could. You'll give me rides? Cos
the Russell Needlemeyer thing freaks me out.
Kim: Can we not talk cars, please?

Bonnie: Hey, Kimmy, I can still drive circles around you.
Kim: Any time, any place, Bonnie! As long as have a licenced
driver in the car.

Bonnie: Whatever.
Ron: You know, you seem a little agitated for a girl who just
aced her driver's test.
Kim: I cheated. Well, Sadi cheated for me, but the guilt is
still major.
Ron: You cheated?
Kim: She just did it!

Ron: I'm sorry. Let me rephrase. You cheated? And you didn't
let me cheat, too?
Kim: I didn't cheat, Ron! I mean, is it cheating if I cheated
but I didn't mean to cheat?
Ron: What?

% Beeps.
Kim: What's the sitch, Wade?

Wade: Drakken's lair. Found it.

Kim: Drakken, release Dr. Freeman. Are you partying?
Freeman: I told you I could do it.
Drakken: I know I told you you could. I never doubted you.
Freeman: Sadi, you came! It was quite exciting! Dr. Drakken had a
programming glitch in his Destructobots that he was sure
I couldn't fix. Well, I showed him.
Kim: Hi. Kim Possible. Came to save you. Did you just say
fixed Drakken's Destructobots?

Freeman: Yes! They work perfectly now... which might not be a good
Rufus: Uh-oh.

Drakken: Destructobot vaporise them all but start with Kim Possible!

Ron: Ooh, that's gonna scratch the paint.

Fraaman: No, scratch-proof paint.
Ron: Nice!

Ron: Duck!

Ron: Brain freeze! Never underestimate the power of the
Rufus: King size!

Drakken: Shego, Kim Possible and that sporty utility vehicle are
destroying my robots!
Shego: And that's why you have me around. Real nice.

Kim: Sadi!
Rufus: ( Gasps )Uh-oh!

Shego: ( Laughs )
% Boom!

Rufus: Ar!
Ron: Agh! I don't wanna melt!

Shego: Come on! We're gone!

Drakken: Agh! Argh!

Drakken: Farewell, Kim Possible! We won't meet again!

Kim: Anybody see a way out of here?
Ron: No, and it's not for a lack of trying.
Sadi: I can get us out.

Kim: Sadi, you're still alive!
Sadi: Yeah, but my automated guidance systems a fried. Someone's
gonna have to drive me out of here.
Ron: No problem. Doc Freeman can take the wheel.
Freeman: Oh, Sorry. I can't drive.
Kim: You can't drive?

Freeman: Why else build a self-driving car?
Kim: Great.
Ron: Alright, alright, when the chips are down Ron Stoppable
takes charge. Now which one of these pedal thingy do
I step on to make it go-go?
Rufus: I don't know.

Freeman: Miss Possible, you'll have to take the wheel.

Kim: Me? No way!
Sadi: Confession time, Kim. I lied. I didn't cheat.
Kim: You didn't?
Sadi: I was going to but I realised you were doing just fine by
yourself. So I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.

Kim: Really? So I can drive?
Sadi: A plus, plus, baby.

Kim: Seat belts, check. Mirrors, check.
Ron: Hot metal, check! Could you just floor it, please?!
Kim: Going.

Rufus: Yikes!

Ron: Dead end
Freeman: And this passage is too narrow! You'll never pull a
Kim: Then the K-turn's all I've got.
Ron: Boo-Yah!

Sadi: Whoa!
% Console beeps.

Ron: Argh!

Ron: Whoa! Way to drive, KP!
Freeman: Well done, indeed.

Sadi: Want the cherry on top, Kim? Just press the red button.

Drakken: Well, my robot army was a failure. But at least Kim
Possible won't be around to ruin my future scheme.
Shego: See? Always a silver lining.
Drakken: Yes, ha, ha.
% Whoosh!
Drakken: Do you hear something?

% Boom!

Drakken: Kim Possible, you think your car's all that but it's not!
Kim: Nailed the bad guys and Mr. Barkin's test. I call that a
good week.

Sadi: Confession time 2.0, Kim. I really did do all the driving on
Barkin's test.
Kim: What?

Ron: Are you saying you lied about lying?
Sadi: Hey, I knew Kim was a good driver, she just needed a little
confidence boost so I fibbed.
Ron: Well, I hate to approve of dishonesty. You know, except no
one notices.
Kim: But I did really drive just now, right? You swear?

Sadi: Cross my carburettor and hope to stall.

Kim: So, did I pass?
Barkin: Why would the best student driver I've ever seen insist on
re-taking her test only to lower her grade?
Kim: Just something I had to do. So?
Barkin: You passed. B minus.

Kim: Woo hoo-hoo!
Barkin: I'll never understand teenagers.