Transcripts - The Full Monkey
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - The Full Monkey


Episode Downhill
Language English
Type Closed Captioning
Date Written Unknown
Author Hazuki
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 3330


Ron: So, it's picture day? What's the big?
Rufus: No big.

Kim: That's where you're wrong. It's the biggest. What do
you think?
Ron: Seen it too much.
Rufus: Mm-hmm.
Kim's Mom: Kimmy, great news. Nana made you a special dress for
picture day.
Kim: Um. Oh. Uh... great! ( Chuckles )

Ron: Can't wait for the big cheer-off. Tomorrow, we are
going to wipe those snotty Lowerton Lemurs off the court.
( Howling )
Kim: You know, Bonnie's been circulating a "ban the dog"
Ron: The Mad Dog cannot be caged, leashed...

Kim: Or housebroken.
Ron: That game was in triple overtime. I couldn't leave the
court. I got a little excited, and, well, accidents
Kim: Let's focus on my picture day issues, please.
Kim's Mom: Kimmy, the Nana dress is cute.
Kim: Mom, let's review.

Kim's Mom: That was your first day with the braces. You were
still getting used to them.
Ron: ( Laughs ) I forgot about that one.
Kim's Mom: Slight booger problem.
Ron: Got to check for bats in the cave.

Kim: See? I have had a bad run of school pictures. This
year, that changes.

% Beeping.
Kim: Hey, Wade, what's the sitch?
Wade: Monkey Fist has escaped, and he's been spotted in China.
Ron: No, no, no! Not monkeys again! Why does it always have to
be monkeys? I can't stand monkeys.

Kim: Done?
Ron: Almost.
Ron: Curse you, monkeys! Ahh! ...OK, I'm done.

Kim: Looks like we're going to China. The picture day
problem will have to wait.
Kim's Mom: What problem?

Kim: Mom!
Kim's Mom: It would mean so much to Nana.
Kim: I'll think about it.

Kim: Thanks for the ride, Professor Acari.

Acari: Oh, Kim! It's the least I could do, after you saved my
cybergenetic tick.
Kim: Oh, it was no big.
Ron: Except for the part where you almost blew your nose. You
know, off your face.
Rufus: Yum.
Acari: I only study real insects now.

Kim: Is that why you're here in China?
Acari: Indeed. I am investigating the nutritional value of common
native species. Ant soup, stir-fried beetles, roasted grubs,
all quite plentiful and rich in protein.
Kim: Yum.
Ron: Oh, no, thanks. I'll stick with these tasty treats.
They're great. Spicy and... and crunchy.
Rufus: Hmm?

Ron: Oh, great Googly Moogly! What is in my mouth?!
Acari: Toasted chili peppers...
Ron: Oh, phew!
Acari: ...and mountain grasshoppers. Delicious, aren't they?
Ron: ( Retching / Gagging )

Kim: Ron? Maybe you should look before you eat.
Ron: Crunchy and spicy has never betrayed me like this before.
% Rattling.
Acari: Here we are, Kim. Forbidden City Museum.

Ron: "Year Of The Monkey"?! How much monkey is one man supposed to

Monkey Fist: At long last! The amulet of the Monkey King.
Ron: Ahem. Just one little problem.
Kim: That doesn't belong to you.
Monkey Fist: Kim Possible. But how? The stealth of the Ninja
Monkeys is legend. How did you find us?
Kim: Too many 'nanas along the way.

Ron: Yeah. A guy could slip on one of those bad boys.
Monkey Fist: Chippy! What have I told you about on-the-job
Monkey Fist: No matter. In a moment, I will become the Monkey King
of the modern era. Until then... Monkey Ninjas, attack!
% Screeching.

Ron: Who's the higher primate now?

Monkey Fist: At last, my transformation will be complete.

Ron: Oops.

Monkey Fist: The amulet!

Kim: Oh... was this what you're after?

Monkey Fist: I was to be the Monkey King! And so I shall be!

Ron: K.P., you OK?

Kim: Yeah. Hey, what happened... Oh, man!
Ron: Kim... that is sick and wrong!

% Class bell rings.
Kim: ( Yawns )
Bonnie: In the way much? The routine doesn't work if you're not on
point in the final pose.

Kim: ( Yawning ) Sorry, Bonnie. I'm just a little tired... and
Bonnie: Yeah, well, a little tired isn't going to win the regional
cheer-off. And as far as itchy? Ew!
Ron: Ladies, ladies... sorry I'm late, but the Mad Dog has
Bonnie: Oh, great! The slobber hound is here. Let's take a break.

Ron: OK, you girls cool off. The Ron man will be right here.
Kim: This thing is fiercely irritating.
Ron: Well, you always wanted a tattoo.
Kim: I did not.
Ron: Oh, right, that was me. And I wanted it right between

Kim: Ron. Too much info.
Ron: Oh, almost forgot. Your mom dropped this off for you.
Kim: Ugh. Not the Nana dress.
Ron: Better put it on. Pictures start soon.
Kim: No, thank you. This year, I want to look like a normal
human being.

Bonnie: Then you'll want to do something about that thing on your
Kim: What thing?
Kim: ( Screams ) Great G!

Kim: It's the picture day curse.

Kim: ( Groans ) This cannot be happening.
Ron: Hey, K.P., you forgot your...
Ron: ( Yells ) Fuzzy caterpillar on your face!

Kim: Please. It's bad enough without you freaking out.
Ron: No, no. The unibrow works on you.
Rufus: Uh-hmm!
Kim: Right. Guys love the brow.
Wade: Kim, I need to talk to you.

Kim: Good, 'cause we've gotten ugly sitch here, Wade.
Wade: How ugly?
Kim: This ugly.
Wade: ( Choking ) Uh-oh.

Kim: Uh-oh, what?
Wade: Well, I checked out that monkey amulet. Turns out that
Monkey Fist was on to something. Legend holds that whoever
wears the amulet becomes the Monkey King.
Ron: Love the king part. Not so hot on the monkey.
Wade: Actually, it's more monkey than king.
Kim: Great, I'm going to be a monkey.

Ron: Can't you stop it?
Wade: Well, I'm not really sure.
Kim: That's not what I wanted to hear.
Wade: Don't worry. I'll get to work and let you know as soon as
I've got something.

Barkin: Let's move it, people! Time for student photos!
Stoppable, none of your punk hand gestures this time.

Ron: What? It was a thumbs up.
Barkin: Sit on your hands, just in case.
Barkin: Possible, I see you're holding up your picture day
Kim: Maybe if I pluck.
Kim: ( Yells / Screeching )

Barkin: ( o.s. ) Pictures, people, let's move!

Desk Clerk: Welcome to Middleton. How long will you be staying
with us, Lord Fist?
Monkey Fist: As long as it takes to get what I came for.
% Luggage wheels squeaking.
Desk Clerk: Uh, sir, we don't actually allow pets.

Desk Clerk: But in this case, I suppose we could make an
Monkey Fist: Smart human.
Desk Clerk: Would you like a single or a double?
Monkey Fist: Do you have a dojo?
Desk Clerk: We have a gym and spa.

Monkey Fist: I'll take it.
Desk Clerk: So, uh, are you in town on business?
Monkey Fist: Yes. Monkey business.

Ron: ( Half-whispers ) All clear.

Rufus: ( Cackles )
Kim: This is great. I'm about to go full monkey.
Josh: Hey, Kim.
Ron: Or full Mankey!

Kim: Josh!
Josh: Hey, is that a good book?
Kim: This? Oh, yeah. Boy, it's fascinating. Wow, the
Josh: Yeah, I haven't read it yet. I figure I'll wait for the
Ron: You know K.P.! Always studying. In fact, she's late for
study hall.

Josh: OK. Good luck at the cheer-off tonight.
Kim: The cheer-off? Like this?!
Ron: Sure, the crowd'll go ape for you.
Ron: Oh. Sorry.

Barkin: Hold it right there, you two. Why aren't you getting your
photos taken?

Ron: Oh. Mr. Barkin. We were just on our way.
Barkin: Oh. And is this the scenic route?
Ron: Actually, Mr. B., this is the scenic route...

% Screeching.

Barkin: Where'd Possible go?

Ron: Uh... hair and makeup?
Barkin: Well, it couldn't hurt.
Ron: Phew. OK, Kim, coast is clear. You got... ( Yell )
Ron: Ki... Kim?

Chippy: Huh?
Ron: Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha! She's gone the full monkey!

Chippy: Huh?
Ron: OK, stay calm.

Chippy: ( Screeching )
Ron: Ugh!
Ron: My best friend is my worst nightmare!
% Beeping.
Chippy: Huh?

Wade: Hey, Kim. I... Oh, no!
Ron: Wade! Kim's gone over to the monkey side.
Wade: OK, don't panic.
Ron: Don't panic? She's a monkey! A fur-covered tree beast!
Wade: I'm working on a way to separate Kim's genetic matter from
the amulet.

Ron: Wade! You're talking science. This is magic! Evil,
stinking monkey magic! You can't fight magic with science!
Wade: I can, too.
Ron: No, you can't.
Wade: Can, too!
Ron: Cannot!

Wade: Can, too!
Ron: Cannot!
Wade: Can, too!
Ron: Cannot!
Wade: Can, too, infinity.

Ron: Oh, he got me with the infinity clause.
Wade: I'm going to need a DNA sample.
Ron: DNA?
Wade: Ron, just get me a sample of her hair.
Ron: Well, plenty of that here.

Ron: You heard him, K.P. We just need some hair.
Ron: Ow. Oh. My face! Oh!
Ron: Would you please cooperate?
Chippy: ( Screeching )

Ron: ( Yells )
% Crashing.
% Grunting.
% Car alarm blaring.
% Crash.

Monkey Fist: ( Chuckling ) So, Kim Possible... tea?
Kim: How about a steaming cup of "What's going on?"

Monkey Fist: Oh, as if you don't know.
Kim: All I know is thanks to that amulet, I'm living a
monkey nightmare.
Monkey Fist: A nightmare? It's my dream. You don't deserve the
power of the amulet!
Kim: Yes, I'm an ungrateful monkey.
Monkey Fist: Don't worry. The amulet won't be your problem much
longer. I'd like to say it won't hurt a bit, but that
wouldn't be truthful.

Monkey Fist: ( Chuckling ) Bravo! A valiant effort, indeed. You
didn't think I'd actually allow you to leave? You are
not a master of Tai Ching Pek Wa, as am I. But the
Monkey King amulet has given you much.
Kim: Like a tail?
Monkey Fist: And now, I plan to take what should have been mine...

Ron: There. That wasn't so bad, was it?

Ron: OK, so it was bad, but it's for your own good, K.P.
Ron: Mission accomplished. Hair sample ready to go.
Wade: Place it on the sensor pad and I'll get started analyzing
it. Hopefully, this will give me the info I need.
Ron: I'll make sure Kim doesn't run off. And now we wait.
Rufus: Oh...

Ron: What if Wade can't fix this? What happens if Kim's like
this forever?
Ron: Well, if this is the new you, so be it. There are worse
things than turning into a monkey. I can't think of any, but
I will. I don't care if you're a stinking monkey on the
outside, Kim, inside you're still my best friend. Kim
Possible, you're going to be the best, hairiest you you can

Ron: OK, smile pretty for the camera.
Photographer: It's an ape.
Ron: Technically, she's a monkey. Apes don't have tails.

Photographer: Whatever. I get paid either way.

Ron: Have to admit, K.P., aside from the monkey thing, I bet this
will be your best school picture ever. But next time, let's
not throw stuff at the photographer, OK?
Ron: Uh-oh.
Rufus: Uh-oh.
Ron: Don't look, K.P. Just walk away.

Bonnie: ( Giggles ) Oh, Josh, you are so funny.

Ron: Told you not to look. I don't know what Josh could
possibly see in Bonnie over you. Except, you know, she's
not full of bananas and covered in fur.
Chippy: ( Screeches )
Ron: But that doesn't mean you don't have feelings, too, right?

Rufus: Mm-hmm.
Ron: You may be a monkey, but you're still a human being. They
can't treat you like that. Now, come on.

Ron: Yo, Josh, man. I got someone here I think you'd rather be
talking to.
Bonnie: Total rudeness. We were dishing.
Ron: Bonnie, no offense, but you're way out of your league.

Bonnie: Excuse me?
Ron: My man Josh here has had his eye on this little lady for
quite some time.
Josh: Dude, are you trying to set me up with a monkey?
Rufus: Uh-huh. Uh... hmm.
Bonnie: OK, major weirdness. I'm out of here. See you tonight at
the cheer-off, Josh.

Ron: Oh, to you, she's just a monkey. To me, she's a great
friend and a beautiful person. I'm just sorry you can't see

Ron: "No pets." No offense, K.P., but maybe I ought to just go in
and tell your mom by myself. You know, break it to her gently.
You're a... you're a remarkable person, K.P. I mean... never
mind, I got to go.
% Knocking on glass.
Ron: Sorry to bother you at work, Mrs. Dr. P.
Kim's Mom: Well, not like I was doing brain surgery.

Ron: You weren't?
Kim's Mom: What's wrong?
Ron: It's Kim.
Kim's Mom: Is she hurt?
Ron: No, no. She's feeling, uh... fit as a chimp.

Kim's Mom: Fit as a chimp? I've never heard that saying before.
Ron: Well, you better get used to it. Kim's a monkey!
Kim's Mom: Ron, you want me to open you up? Make sure everything's,
uh, fit as a chimp?
Ron: I'm serious! Look.

Ron: She was just here, I swear.

Kim's Mom: OK, Ron, I've got a patient catching a chill on his
frontal lobe.
Ron: But...!
Ron: Mrs. Dr. P!
Ron: OK, Kim, maybe you're right. If all goes well, she'll
never have to know.

Kim: ( Grunting )

Kim: Any chance of you letting me out of here?
Kim: Didn't think so.

% Clanking.
Kim: Great! My tail's all thumbs.

Kim: Love to stay, but I don't want to be a monkey forever.
Monkey Fist: You don't know how lucky you are. But your luck is
about to change. ( Cackling )

Monkey Fist: I was destined to be the Monkey King. According to
the ancient text, there is still one way for me to
achieve complete and total monkeyosity.
Kim: Personally, I think you should set your goals a little
higher on the evolutionary scale.
Monkey Fist: Jest if you wish, but there is only one way to part
you from the amulet. A very painful way.
Man: Hello. How are you doing? What's with the ape?

Kim: I'm a monkey. I have a tail.
Man: Oh, yeah. How much can you tail press?
Kim: We'll see.
Monkey Fist: ( Grunts )

Kim: Strong tail.
Monkey Fist: Doug! Stop her!
Man: I had a dog that ran away from me once. It still
hurts. You know?

Tara: Has anyone seen Kim? I mean, she is the head cheerleader.
And the cheer-off is about to start. We won't stand a chance
without her on point.
Bonnie: Looks like Miss Perfect's going to leave us hanging. So

Ron: Don't worry, K.P. I'm sure Wade'll be able to get you back
to normal. Yo, Wade. Status report? Wade?
Wade: Sorry. I had a printer jam. I'm afraid I've got some bad
Ron: Bad? How bad?
Wade: Well, turns out there's a 24-hour time limit. If we don't
change Kim back in five minutes, she'll be a monkey
Ron: You know what, Wade? If that's so, it's OK. I think Kim
and I have proven that our friendship isn't just skin deep,
or fur deep.

Wade: Oh, Ron. That's not Kim.
Ron: What?
Wade: The first sample was from a real monkey. A natural born
Ron: What? It's a monkey?! I spent the day with a real monkey?
( Yells )

Rufus: Ew, monkey!
Chippy: ( Screeching )
Ron: No, you're right. We had a good day, didn't we?
Kim: Ron.

Ron: Aah! Kim! You're a...!
Kim: Yes, I know, I'm a banana-eating tree swinger.
Rufus: ( Squeals and moans )
Ron: Wait. How do I know you're Kim and not a real monkey?

Kim: A talking real monkey?
Ron: Anything's possible.
Kim: Monkey Fist tried to get the amulet back. And, by the way,
thanks for noticing I was gone.
Ron: But I thought he... she... it was you.
Kim: Please. You'd never catch me wearing that dress.

Rufus: ( Retches )

Kim: Talk to me, Wade.
Wade: I need a DNA sample. Some hair will work.
Kim: How's this?

Wade: We'll know soon, because we're running out of time.
Kim: Time till what?
Ron: Until you're a monkey permanently.
Kim: Can this get a worse?
Ron: Yes!

Monkey Fist: Hyah!

Ron: Kim! Run! We'll meet up in the gym.

Monkey Fist: Ron Stoppable. We have both experienced the mystical
monkey power of Tai Ching Pek Wa.
Ron: Oh!
Monkey Fist: But I am a mony master and you are not.
Chippy: ( Screeching )

Monkey Fist: Chippy, what are you doing here with these humans?
Ron: Chippy? That's your name?
Chippy: Uh-huh.
% Beeps.
Wade: I'm almost ready. Where's Kim?

Ron: Um, I'll find her.
Ron: I'll never forget you, Chippy!

Monkey Fist: Out of my way, you monkey traitor. Now, to claim my
monkey king crown!

Announcer: Welcome to the regional cheer-off between last year's
champion, the Middleton Mad Dogs, and their arch rivals,
the Lowerton Lemurs! And there's lowerton's mascot!
% Crowd cheering.
Announcer: And there's... some guy.

Ron: How we doing, Wade?
Wade: I'm just about ready. I'm going to route the DNA
sequencer through the communicator's data port. So you
just have to point at Kim and zap.
Ron: Point and zap, got you.
Announcer: And look! Lowerton brought another lemur mascot!
Monkey Fist: A lemur?! I've never even been to Madagascar. Hm.
Lemur, indeed.

% Funky dance music plays.
Announcer: ( Chuckling ) Oh, this is great. The two mascots are
performing a tumbling routine and the crowd loves it.

Ron: Tick-tock, Wade.
Wade: All set, zap away.
Ron: Huh? Wade! I'm pointing but there's no zapping.

Wade: Sorry, wrong cable connector.

Announcer: Incredible! Kim Possible, the Middleton head
cheerleader, has KO'd Lowerton'mascot.
Kim: It worked! No more itching.
Announcer: And Middleton wins the cheer-off! Oh, what a spectacular
display. My, my.
Bonnie: Glad you could make it.

Kim: So not the drama.

Monkey Fist: ( Groans )
Barkin: That's it, buddy. You're in violation of code.
Impersonating a mascot. Lemur, ha! Where's your tail,
lemur? Take him away!
Monkey Fist: I am a monkey master! Not a lemur!

Ron: Good to have you back, K.P.
Kim: Glad to be back. Where's your little monkey friend?
Ron: ( Gasps )

% Banging.
Ron: Hey, you're OK.

Chippy: ( Screeching )
Kim: You seem to have gotten over your monkey issues.
Ron: K.P., I think this is the beginning of a beautiful
Kim: At least this year I avoided another picture day disaster.
Thank goodness I wasn't anywhere near a camera.

Ron: Uh, yeah. About that...

Kim: Mom! What is that picture doing on the wall?
Kim's Mom: What's that, honey? Oh, well, the boys just loved it.
Jim: It's your best school picture yet.
Tim: Hoo-sha!

Kim: Very funny, tweebs.
Kim's Mom: Well, you have to admit, Kimmy, the Nana dress isn't
your look but Chippy pulls it off.
Kim: ( Gasps, groans )