Transcripts - The Truth Hurts
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - The Truth Hurts

 

  Information
Episode The Truth Hurts
Language English
Type Closed Captioning
Date Written Unknown
Author Hazuki
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 1796
 

  Transcript

Kim's Dad: Don't forget to be home early. I'm having the entire
board of directors from the lab over for dinner, remember?
Kim: Don't worry, Dad. It has top priority on my schedge.
Kim's Mom: Honey, are these the same board members you're always
compining about?

Kim's Dad: I don't always complain about them. I mean, sure,
Dr. Cook is a bit of a know-it-all, and Dr. Harris's
toupee looks like roadkill, and if Dr. Kramer tells one
more pointless story about "the old country," help me,
I'll...
Kim: Maybe you should skip the coffee today, Dad.
Kim's Dad: Heh. Sorry, Kimmy. I'm as nervous as a porcupine in a
balloon factory.
Kim's Mom: Hon, you're a shoe-in for the promotion.
Kim's Dad: But we've never had the big bosses over to the house
before.

Kim's Mom: Don't worry. We'll be on our best behavior. Right,
kids?
Kim: Hey, talk to the tweebs, not me.
Tweebs: Hey, we heard that.
Ron: Hola, Possible clan. Kim, ready to hit it?

Kim: I can't believe I'm going to be on the cover of Spirit Squad
Weekly. It's the cheerleading magazine. I am so freaking.

Ron: You'll be fine. My advice, just be totally and completely
sincere.
Kim: Hey, that's actually good advice.
Ron: That's not something I practice myself, but I think you can
pull it off.
% beeping.
Kim: Hey, Wade. What's the sitch?

Wade: Kim, think you can squeeze in a rescue before homeroom?
Kim: You got transportation?
Kim: Never mind.

Wade: This is Dr. Wanda Wong, one of the country's top scientific
leaders. Drakken captured her and took her to some kind of
ice fortress.
Ron: Has he done the underwater layer yet? See, if it was me,
I would have gone with underwater before ice.

Kim: Ready to eject?
Ron: Yes.
Kim: Good.

Drakken: Cold, Dr. Wong?
Wong: Why am I sitting on an ice cube?

Drakken: So you will divulge every detail of your top-secret
projects, that's why.
Wong: You make no sense to me.
Shego: Welcome to my life.
Drakken: Oh, a little more gluteal discomfort and you'll be Little
Miss Busy Lips.
Wong: I still don't get the ice.

Drakken: Grr. Fine, forget the ice! You leave me no choice but to
use this!
Drakken: ( shrieks ) Who? What?!
Kim: Chillin' new lair, Drakken.
Drakken: Kim Possible!
Shego: "We'll build a frozen fortress. She'll never find us
there."

Drakken: Ice the sass, Shego.

Ron: Don't worry, we're the good guys, here to save you, yadda,
yadda.

Shego: I'm going to whip you in Technical Merit and Artistic
Impression.
Kim: Bring it.

Ron: Whew!

Drakken: What's she doing? Trying to make us dizzy?

Shego: No, worse.


Reporter: Whoo! That's going to be a great cover shot, Kim. Now,
I just need to ask you a couple of questions for the
article. Now, I understand in addition to cheering and
being on the honor roll, somebody also saves the world from
time to time, hmm?
Kim: Oh, you know. No big.
Reporter: Well, I know our readers are going to want to know this.
Do you have time for a personal life?

Kim: Oh, I make time.
Reporter: I'll bet you're crushing on someone right now. Give us
a hint.
Kim: His name is Bobby Johnson. Just moved here from
Upperton, but I'm not sure if I like him because I like
him or because he asked out Bonnie first. ( gasps )
Bonnie: I knew it!

Reporter: Well, that's some hint! Any cool hobbies?
Kim: Oh, nothing special. I collect cuddle buddies. I love
them. I can't get to sleep without my pandaroo.
% Girls laugh.
Reporter: Cuddle buddies? Yeah... Kim, I have to be honest with
you. We like our cover girls to be, ooh, how shall I put
this? Um... trend-forward. There must be some other
activity that you do regularly.
Kim: I pick my nose when nobody's looking. ( stifled
mumbling
)

Reporter: Anyone else want to be on the cover?
Girls: Ooh-ooh!
I do, I do!
Me.

Kim: Okay, Kim, just tell yourself a big, fat lie. You can do it.
The color of my hair is greee... red. My name is Possible.
The sky is blue. Pro-wrestling is... fake! No!
Kim: Wade, something's wrong with me. I can only tell the truth
and, and... you spend too much time in your room. It's just
not healthy.
Kim: Oh, I'm sorry.

Wade: Okay, Kim, I'll disregard that until we figure out what's up.
Hold the communicator at arm's length. Scanning for weirdness.
Kim: Well?
Wade: Way weird. It looks like all of your brain inhibitors are
shut down.
Kim: Meaning?
Wade: Meaning you can't lie. You can only blurt out the truth.
Now let's look back at the last 24 hours.

Kim: The usual. Got up, went to school. Fought Shego. Drakken
zapped me with some funky ray thing.
Wade: Whoa, whoa! What kind of ray?
Kim: Don't know. It was yellow, I think.
Wade: A truth ray.
Kim: That's got to be it. ( gasps ) If I was hit, I'll bet Ron was
hit, too. There's no telling what kind of trouble he's getting
himself into.

Barkin: All right, people. I assume you all read and are prepared
to discuss the classic novella, "Lo, The Plow Shall Till the
Soil of Redemption."
Ron: I did not and I am not!
Ron: Wait. No. What I meant to say is that I read... only the
first three pages! I almost dislocated my jaw from yawning!
Barkin: Stoppable! Explain yourself.
Ron: This book is snobby, pompous, overwritten, and the pictures
were in black and white.

Girl: Excuse me, Mr. Barkin, but I agree with Ron's criticism.
Boy: Yeah. Me too. Um... I just didn't have the guts to slam
your favorite book.
Class: Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That's right.
Barkin: That's it! I've had it with this book. I've despised "Lo,
the Plow Shall Till the Soil of Redemption" ever since I had
to suffer through it back in military school.

Class: Yeah!
( Chants ) Ron! Ron! Ron!

Ron: And you know what else? I've never kissed a girl. Well,
except for the CPR dummy in health class. Now, I know it's
not the coolest thing to admit, but, hey, the truth sets you
free.
Boy: Dude, you tell it straight up.
Kim: Ron, listen. We were both hit with a truth ray and...

Ron: No diggity. Isn't it great?
Kim: Great?
Ron: Hey, Penny. You have the most beautilicious eyes in school.
Penny: Gosh, thanks, Ron. That's so sweet. Hey, I'll see you
around, OK?
Ron: I tell it like it is. Ain't no shame in my game. This
rules.

% Tonal beeping.
Kim: What's the truth sitch, Wade?
Wade: According to my research, the effects of the truth ray should
wear off in about a day.

% School bell ringing.
Kim: This is so my worst nightmare.
Ron: My worst nightmare is the one where I'm in school in my
underwear.

Kim: Ron, you've actually done that. I have to get home and tell
Mom and Dad before his big-shot bosses get there.

Kim: Mom, Dad. I gotta talk to you before...
Kim's Dad: Dr. Cook, Dr. Harris, Dr. Kramer. You've met the twins.
This is my Kimmy-Cub.
Kim: I hate it when he calls me that.
Kim's Dad: ( Gasps )

Kim's Mom: ( Gasps )
Cook: Aren't you just the prettiest thing?
Kim: I have split ends and I'm trying to cover a mountain-
size zit on my cheek that you just touched.
Kim's Dad: Teenagers. Always playing us squares. Why don't we
adjourn to the living room while we wait for the chairman
of the board to arrive, hmm?

Kim: ( Sighs )

Kramer: And after churning and churning and churning, my great-
great grandpapa finally made the first goat butter his
village had ever seen.
Kim's Dad: Wow. What a captivating story. Wasn't it guys?
Kim's Mom: Oh, very.

Jim: ( yawns ) Cool.
Tim: Yeah.
Kim: ( muffled mumbling )

Kim's Mom: Kim?
Kim: Uh-uh.
Jim: We'll get it.
Kim's Dad: Kimmy, What is wrong with you?
Kim: I'm trying not to tell Dr. Kramer that you were right.
His stories about the old country, they're pointless snore
fests.

Kramer: Goat butter is not pointless. It is delicious.

Cook: Interestingly, in ancient Syria, they would use a goatskin
sack.
Kim: Dad, you were right about Dr. Cook, too. He is a know-it-
all.
Harris: Oh, my hair!
Kim: Don't worry. My father already spilled about your bad
piece, even if he didn't, trust me, aliens could spot that
thing from space.

Kim's Dad+Mom: Kim!
Tim: She's funnier without the pillow.
Jim: Hoo-sha!
Kramer: That's it. Grab your coats. We are leaving this instant.

Harris: Dr. Possible, see me in my office first thing tomorrow. We
need to discuss your future at the lab, or lack thereof.

Kim: Wait. You can't do that. It's not my dad's fault. I got
hit with a truth ray. I'm sorry.
Kramer: Ha! Truth ray.
Cook: Absurd.

Kim's Dad: The board chairman. Now my career is completely over.
Kim: Dr. Wong?

Wong: Kim! I can't thank you enough for your help today.
Thanks to you, I narrowly escaped that nasty Drakken and
his truth ray.
Harris: There really was a truth ray?
Kim: I saved her. I save lots of people.
Wong: Of course you do. You were brilliant. Like daughter,
like father, right doctors?
Kramer: Oh, of course.

Cook: I couldn't agree more.
Harris: It's an entire family of geniuses.
Wong: Now, let's get inside and discuss your promotion, shall
we?

Ron: So everything worked out?
Kim: Totally. I apologized to the board members and, like, a
zillion other people. How about you?

Ron: I'm still mourning the loss of my truth mojo.
Kim: You could just be honest on your own.
Ron: Believe me, I'm trying.
Penny: Hi, Ron.
Ron: Hey, Penny. You-you have, you have the most, the most, um,
you got the most cans in the school's charity can drive. Keep
up the good work, Tiger.

Ron: Wait! I didn't hear any complaints from the CPR dummy.