Transcripts - Ill Suited
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - Ill Suited


Episode Downhill
Language English
Type Closed Captioning
Date Written Unknown
Author Cloud23465
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 4745


Music: I know we've been friends forever
But now I think I'm feeling something totally new
And after all this time, I've opened up my eyes. Now I see
You were always with me

Chorus: Could it be....
Music: Could it be you and I never imagined
Chorus: Could it be....
Music: Could it be, suddenly, I'm falling for you
Chorus: I'm falling......
Music:Could it be you were right here beside me
And I never knew......
(music fades and Kim melts)
Ron: KP? You're a Syntho-Drone?
Ron (wakes up screaming): Ahhh!
Rufus: Ahhhhhh!
Ron: Ahhhhhh!
Rufus: Ahhhhhh!
Ron: Ahhhhhh!
Rufus: (squeeks and points at the clock)
Ron: I don't care what time it is! This is an emergency! (dials number)
Ron: (phone rings) Kim, pick-up, pick-up pick-up!
Kim: (Groans and yawns as she reaches for the phone) Ron?
Ron: Are you a Syntho-Drone, KP? Be honest! I can take it!
Kim: Ron! You had a nightmare! Goodnight.
Ron: Wait! Before that part where you melted, we were at the dance and......
Kim: We kissed.
Ron: Yeah! Did you have the same dream?
Kim: No. That part really happened, Ron.
Ron: Heh, yeah.
Kim: Yeah, but it won't happen again if you keep calling me in the middle of the night! (hangs up the phone)
Ron: (dial tone) Man, love is complicated.

Prof. Dementor: Hah! No top secret underground science facility can hide from Professor Dementor!
Kim: And no smug villain can hide from...
Prof. Dementor: Kim Possible!?
Ron: And boyfriend!
Prof. Dementor: Huh! I seriously doubt that.
Ron: No, dude, it's true...... really.
Prof. Dementor: .............Sorry! Just can't believe it. I am impressed, Frauline Possible! How did you know I would be here?
Kim: Uh, your ‘to do' list helped.
Prof. Dementor: Doh! I dropped that when I stole the ultrasonic drill, yes?
Kim: Yeah, did. And thanks for making our job that much easier.
(Ron takes the list and reads from it)
Ron: Steal ultrasonic drill, break into lab, call mother, conquer world..........
Prof. Dementor: Uhh! I knew I was forgetting something. Mama gets so cross when I don't jingle!
Kim: You can call her from prison.
Prof. Dementor: Or, we could add one more item to my list. Eliminate Kim Possible!
(Professor Dementor presses a switch and fires the ultrasonic drill at Kim. Kim activates the battle suit.)
Ron: Nicely bubbled, KP!
(Kim zooms up to the platform above to confront Professor Dementor.)
Kim: Just getting started.
Prof. Dementor: Whoa, whoa, Hey, hold on, time out! You have a battle suit? When did you get this suit with the power?
Ron: It's relatively new.
Kim: And indestructible. So, if you wanna just give up now......
Prof. Dementor: Oh, it's most impressive. But we will take the springing out of your stepping shoes!
(Professor Dementor presses a console button and his henchmen suddenly appear around Kim) Rufus: (squeeks and points to the drill)
Ron: Ah, right! Running! (drill fires)
(Ron starts running around trying to avoid the drill's blasts. A henchman attacks Kim and damages her battle suit, but it heals itself.)
Prof. Dementor: Oh, look at that, for Peter's sake. Maybe someone might take a minute to fill me in next time on a little detail like my school girl enemy becoming suddenly UBER!
Ron: Ehhh... ehhh.. ehhh... (drill fires at Ron some more)
One of Dementor's goons: (grunts as he fall to the ground)
Prof. Dementor: This is not fair! You have never had this springy jump, self-healing super suit before!
Kim: I'm full of surprises.
Prof. Dementor: Yes! Well, you are not the only one, Frauline! (pulls out a hand blaster and fires it at Kim.)
Kim: Uh..... (Kim catches the energy blast and throws it back at Dementor, ripping the blaster out of his hand)
Prof. Dementor: Now with the hand? You get your hand thing, too?!
Ron: Say, Kim! Little help! Owww...owwww! (drill is still firing at Ron)
Prof. Dementor: Yes! You help your so-called ‘boyfriend', while I help myself to escape!
(Professor Dementor pushes a button on his console. The console turns into an escape pod and he blasts away into the sky)
Kim: Uhhh...... (she pushes some buttons and pulls down a leaver as the drill powers off)
Ron: Ahhh...... (Ron pants as he falls to the ground exhausted)
Kim: You okay?...... so-called boyfriend?
Ron: Uh-huh...... (as he gives a thumb up)

Monique: Can you believe it? The day is here! We're actually seniors!
Ron: We're older! We're wiser! We rule the school!
Kim: Yeah, I guess so.
Monique: What's your problem, girl? Where's your senior spirit?
Kim: No big. It's just that we had our first run in of senior year and the bad guy got away.
Monique: No one bats a thousand, Kim.
Ron: Besides, you still kicked major battle suit butt.
Rufus: (karate scream kick and chop)
Ron: And your main man's mad running away shelf!
Bonnie: So, are you two like, still together?
Kim: Yes, Bonnie.
Bonnie: I mean, I know things got noxious at the Junior Prom. But you've had all summer to come to your senses.
Kim: So have you.
Bonnie: But you're a cheerleader! A senior cheerleader! You know what that means?
Ron: New....uniforms.
Bonnie: Well, yes, and they're so cute. But it also means you must date a jock. It''s non-optional! It's like a rule!
Kim: Ron's the exception to the rule.
(Bonnie briefly scowls back at Ron before facing Kim again)
Bonnie: He's the reason for the rule. If you can't step-up, trade-up.
Kim: Not everyone has to date the quarterback, ‘B'.
Bonnie: Not everyone can, ‘K'.
(Bonnie struts away)
Monique: Awww... That girl's sweet as ever.
Rufus: (Coughs, sticks his finger in his mouth as if gagging, and blows a strawberry at Bonnie)
Kim: Gotta run. (Kisses Ron on the cheek) Promise me you won't obsess over Bonnie's little.... whatever, okay?
Ron: What little whatever?
Kim: The whole ‘must date a jock' rule.
Ron: Oh yeah, yuh.... Whatever..... (school bell rings)

(Ron is looking at the school's sports trophy display with Rufus)
Ron: Some girls do like to date jocks. Heh, big deal, who cares?
(Ron is playing a video game at an arcade as Rufus watches)
Ron: It's not like Kim would ever dump me to trade-up.........would she?
(Ron is at the movies with Rufus)
Ron: I mean just because she's a cheerleader who likes to cheer......jocks.......go jocks. Huh.....
Someone in the crowd: Shhhhhhh...
(Ron is riding his scooter through traffic and is at a stop light.)
Ron: Wait, I'm a cheerleader! I'm the Mad Dog! That must count for something.
(The trafiic light changes to green)
Truck Driver: (blows his horn) Hey! Clown boy! Get outta the road!
Ron: (Ron hits the gas) Don't count for nothing, does it?
Rufus: Uh-uh.
(Ron is walking through the school halls)
Ron: Okay, chill. Kim is not Bonnie. Me and KP live in a trade-up free zone.
(Around the corner, Kim and Monique talk, not seeing Ron)
Monique: Whoa! Kim! Are you serious? Trading-up?
Kim: I hate to admit it. But in this one case, though, I actually agree with Bonnie.
Ron: (gasps)
Monique: Never thought I'd hear those words from you, Kim. It's a little scary.
Kim: I know, Monique, but a girl has to have standards, especially now that we're seniors.
(Ron runs off, mortified.)
Kim: It's time that you traded-up.
Monique: But my little cellie has been with me since freshman year!
Kim: You have to admit Bonnie's new cell phone is ultimate.

Ron: You heard it, Rufus. Now that we're seniors, I'm not good enough for Kim. I wish she wasn't a cheerleader. Or.......
Rufus: Uh-oh........
Ron: Time for Ron Stoppable to step-up and become Ron Step-up-able!

Barkin: As you all know, after 7seven years, Brick Flagg graduated last June, leaving the Mad Dogs without a quarterback. You realize these tryouts aren't for ‘towel boy'! That position is already filled.
(Rufus stands beside a stack of towels)
Rufus: Uh-huh!
Ron: Actually, Mr. Barkin, you're looking at the new Middleton quarterback.
(The other football players start snickering and laughing.)
Barkin: You think you're quarterback material?..With your name?
Ron: Ron?
Barkin: Stoppable! Sends the wrong message to the opposition.
Ron: But I can do this, Mr. B. I've got hustle! Buckets of hustle!
Barkin: Playing the hustle card, eh? All right.... LET'S SEE HOW YOU DANCE!
Ron: OK, whoa.....ohhh....why would you park there? Oww! Uhhh!
(Car alarms go off. Cats scream in terror. Ron comes back with the football)
Ron: Book the hall! We have a reception!
Barkin: Okay, lets see you pass.
(Ron puts his arm to back to pass and jams the football into Barkin's mouth)
Ron: Ohhhhh, man!
Barkin: Ptooiee! Take a lap...........I didn't say run the lap.

Ron: ‘Sup, Ladies?
Kim: And you are doing what?
Ron: I'm just relishing the exquisite torment that is the crab walk.
Monique: Fun.
Ron: Ah, it's a Jock thing. You wouldn't understand.
Kim: Jock thing? You?
Ron: Are you kidding? Ron Stoppable has always been about the sportage.
Kim: Okay. Even if that was
Ron: Oh, who doesn't like to toss around the old pig puck?
Kim: You mean, pig skin.
Ron: Woah, KP! One sport at a time.
Kim: Ron! This wouldn't have anything to do with that trash Bonnie was talking?
Ron: What? Uh no! I'm just flushing out the resume for college.
Kim: Well, I guess football reads better the flooding the school cafeteria.
Monique: Huh? Oh right! The chess club incident.
Ron: The first rule of chess club do not talk about chess club.
(Kimmunicator beeps)
Wade: What up, seniors?
Kim: Hey Wade! New sitch?
Wade: Yeah, but no telling what! Just a mysterious hit on your site.
Kim: Mysterious? How?
Wade: All we got were GPS coordinates.

(Kim and Ron meet with an older woman who is Professor Dementor in disguise.)
Prof. Dementor: It's my Princess.
Ron: Princess, eh? Let me guess. Kidnaped foreign royalty?
Prof. Dementor: Oh dear, no. She just won't come down out of the tree.
Ron: KP? Huh...allow me to step up and handle this one.
(Ron climbs the tree to get the cat.)
Ron: Nice kitty, you're such a nice......
(The cat starts hissing and growling)
Ron: Owwww! Oh, man! now with the cutting! Owwwww!
(Ron jumps out of the tree and lands by Kim, his clothes torn to shreds.)
Ron: (breathing deeply) Hey, you know. As long as you're suited up.......
( Kim jumps up to the branch where the cat is.)
Kim: Come on, Princess. Awww, nice kitty.
( Kim jumps down to the ground with the cat.)
Kim: No big. Here you go.
Prof. Dementor: Oh no, you must let me give you a proper thank you.
(The scene shifts to inside the woman's house.)
Prof. Dementor: I'll be right back with the cookies.
Ron: And maybe some got em? Antiseptic?....You know, maybe.
( The cat growls at Ron)
Ron: Nice lady.
Kim: Yeah.
Ron: Uhhh.......a little off.
Kim: Kinda creepy.
Ron: These to go?
Kim: So to go.
Ron: Ah, quite a know, uh.........these things.
( The cat jumps out of Kim's arms to the ground.)
Kim: Oh! Hey!
( The cat's eyes change from green to red)
Kim: (gasps)
Ron: I knew that cat was evil!
( The cat fires a laser beam at Kim, which she avoids)
Kim: We've been played!
Computer voice: Analyzing battle suit.
(The collectibles begin to move threateningly.)
Ron: Ahhhhh! Bad granny! Bad granny!
(Ron tries to open the door, but it's locked. Iron plates start to slam shut over the windows.)
Kim: (gasps)
Prof. Dementor: ( laughs evilly)
Kim: I recognize that laugh.
Prof. Dementor: Oh, ho, ho. Dear me, it is appearing that we are all out of the cookies!
(Professor Dementor throws the plate at Ron, barely missing him)
Ron: Kim! This granny is demented!
Kim: Ron! You mean Dementor!
( Professor Dementor removes his wig.)
Prof. Dementor: Peeking zee boo! (laughs evilly)

Kim: Cute little trap, Professor.
Prof. Dementor: Why thank you. Yes, I rather like it. It's the details that really sell it, don't you think? I picked out the curtains myself!
Ron: Dude, you're totally wearing a dress.
Prof. Dementor: It's a house coat!
Ron: Yeah.....uh-huh.....Dress!
Prof. Dementor: Enough with the chat! Collectibles, attack!
(The collectibles begin to throw plates at Ron as he runs and hides.)
Ron: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
( Kim gasps as her arm is grabbed by the couch.)
Kim: Eh! uh! Gah! Ahh! Uhh.( gasps)
(The collectibles fire hard candy at Ron.)
Ron: Ahhh! Hard candy!
(The couch sprouts teeth and envelopes Kim.)
Ron: KIM!
Rufus: Eeeeek!
Prof. Dementor: (laughs evilly again)
( Suddenly, the couch bursts open as Kim activates shield mode and breaks free, throwing the couch over the collectibles. Professor Dementor grabs his cat.
Prof. Dementor: Danka, kitty. Uh oh, it is looking lime I am in zee hot water, yes?.....Heh heh heh......No!
(Professor Dementor throws the cat at Kim.)
Prof. Dementor: There is no hot water for me!
(Professor Dementor gets inside a cabinet and it turns into an escape pod.)
Prof. Dementor: Not this time, Frauline Possible! Not ever!
Kim: Oh, I have been foiled by a man in a dress?
Prof. Dementor: It's a house coat!
(Professor Dementor flies away through a hole in the roof.)
(The cat starts beeping. Kim strokes back the fur to reveal a timer counting down.)
Ron: See, this is why I'm not a cat person.
Kim: Oh! Come on!
(Kim grabs Ron and blasts off through the hole that Dementor launched through and the cat blows up. They land safely outside and Kim pulls out the Kimmunicator.)
Kim: It was a trap, Wade.
Wade: Professor Dementor?
Ron: In a dress!
Wade: Sounds ugly. But you had the battle suit.
Kim: And he had the home field advantage!
(Kim's voice echos in Ron's head:) Home field, home field, home field, home field, home field.....
(Ron comes up with a plan to use Kim's battle suit to win the quarterback position on the football team.)

(School bell rings.)
Monique: Ummm... How much longer is he going to be that way?
Kim: I'm not sure, but it's kinda weirding me out.
(Kim snaps her fingers and Ron's attention comes back)
Ron: Oh. Hey, guys.
Kim: Zoning out. Why?
Ron: Ummm, nothing. Y'say, we better get rolling so you can get to babysitting tonight cause tonight you'll be out babysitting and you won't be home cause you'll be out babysitting away from home, right?
Kim: You're still not right, are you?
Ron: Me? Oh yeah! I'm feeling just super.

(Ron enters Kim's closet.)
Ron: Hmmm... It's not stealing. It's secret borrowing.
(Whistle blows on the football field. Ron enters the football field wearing the battle suit under his football uniform)
Barkin: Uh-huh! Stoppable! Are you still wasting my time? There's no way you're going to make the quarterback cut!
Ron: Just one more chance, Mr. B!
Barkin: Ahhh, what's it gonna hurt, beside from his skin and bones? Fine! I'll just have the nurse to warm up the crash cart.
Ron: Alright! Now check it!
(The football lands right in Barkin's mouth and knock him down. Ron runs up to him.)
Ron: Sssss... Oooooooh... You okay there, Coach?
Barkin: (pulls the football out of his mouth) Huh! Okay, I'm stoked! That pass was impossible!
Ron: Heh....yeah. Something like that....
Barkin: You're the field general! The signal caller! The man! Middleton, we have a quarterback!

Announcer: It's a beautiful night for some football here in Middleton. There's the snap. The new Mad Dog quarterback has all kinds of time. He's moving in the pocket....... and......that's a 30 yard completion!
(The crowd cheers. Kim and the other cheerleaders look on in amazement.)
Kim: Wow! Ummm........Uh.... go, Mad Dogs!
Announcer: First and 10 in Lowerton territory.......
(Ron has football players piling all on top of him)
Announcer: Oh! Call the crash cart!
(Ron breaks out of the pile. The crowd cheers again.)
Announcer: Good night, nurse! He's okay!
(Monique stares in disbelief at what she's seeing.)
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Stoppable is unstoppable!
(Barkin gets a huge grin on his face)
Kim, Hope, Crystal: Go Unstoppable!
Announcer: Here we go folks! This could be the play of the game! The Lowerton defense dog piles on the rookie! But no! The kid is on the move! Touchdown Catch! Middleton has a new hero!
Ron: (laughs nervously)
Kim: He did it!
Monique: I know! Unbelievable!
Bonnie: Yeah, a little too unbelievable, if you ask me.
Kim: So Ron stepped up. Jealous much?
(Kim waves at Ron... then draws her hand back in concern)
Kim: It is kinda weird, though....isn't it?
Monique: Maybe all that running from bad guys has finally paid off.

(Ron and Kim are sitting in a booth in Bueno Nacho.)
Ron: What did you think, KP?
Kim: I'm so proud of you, Ron. I never knew you had this in you..........never.
Ron: Heh... like you, I'm full of surprises! Heh, heh......yeah.....
( Ron nervously sips on his drink. The ground starts to shake as Ned wipes out with a tray of food).
Rufus: Huh? ohhh! (Rufus avoids a falling drink cup)
Ron: Earthquake!
Kim: Unlikely!
(As Ron and Kim look up the roof disappears. Professor Dementor is flying above them. )
Prof. Dementor: Oh, Yoohoo! Is it a bad time for the knocking?
(Customers scream and run out of the restaurant)

Prof. Dementor: Eyes here! I am making an entrance!
Kim: You know, some of us are trying to have a social life.
Prof. Dementor: Soon, zee only life you will be having will be the life of bowing down to me! Professor Dementor! Conqueror of everybody!
Kim: Yeah, that's going to happen like......never.
Prof. Dementor: Oh? And you intend to stop me once again by using your fancy battle suit?
Kim: Well, uh........actually.......
Prof. Dementor: Too bad! You see, during our last encounter, I secretly analyzed its abilities and cleverly devised this Magnetic Controller!
(Professor Dementor activates the Magnetic Controller.)
Prof. Dementor: Your fancy pants will become your very undoing! Why even now, you feel your arm and legs locking up, fusing you into immobile helplessness as I, Professor Dementor, take full control!
Ron: (grunts and groans)
Prof. Dementor: All your battle suit now belongs to me!
Kim: Sorry to harsh your scheme, Professor, but I'm not wearing it!
Prof. Dementor: Do I look like I am fooled by your mouth full of lies? No! is the correct answer!
Kim: Hello? Does it look like I'm wearing full body armor?
Prof. Dementor: Well, no....Now that you mention it, and yet my instruments very clearly say that the suit is here........with that, what is up?
Ron: (nervously chuckles) Oil Can!
Kim: The football game..... (gasps)
Prof. Dementor: Remotely activating shield mode!
Ron: Ahhhh! So hate that!
Prof. Dementor: So who's wearing the girly clothes now?
Kim: Ron! stole my battle suit!
Ron: Secret borrowing!
Kim: (gasps) You were in my closet!
Ron: Look! Let me explain. Okay, first off, this suit pinches! Not that it doesn't look good on you......
Prof. Dementor: Ahem! Not that your teen relationship issues aren't....fascinating, but I'd really like to jump right into crushing Kim Possible with her own super suit!
Ron: Hey! Hey! Bad suit! Kim! look out!
( Kim and Ron start to fight)
Kim: (gasps and ducks a punch) You cheated your way onto the football team!
Ron: Yeah! But that was just a perk! I was really trying to cheat on you!.....For you! win you!
Ron: Wait! wait! It's not what you think!
Kim: Oh! So you're not a cheater, a liar, and a thief!?
Ron: Okay, it is what you think.
Ron: But...but Kim! I had to do it! I couldn't risk losing you!
Kim: What are you talking about? You weren't going to lose me.
Ron: Kim, I heard you talking to Monique. You agreed with Bonnie about dating jocks. You said trading up was the only option.
Kim: What? Uh! Ron, I was talking about Monique's cell phone!
Ron: Ohhhhhhhh........ yeah, she's got that new one like Bonnie's. That's a nice phone.
Kim: Uh-huh.......
Ron: Oh wait! So you weren't gonna.......
Kim: Trade-up my BF? Ron! I don't care about dating a jock! I care about dating you! Ron Stoppable! No matter who he long as he's honest.
Ron: I'm sorry, Kim! I never meant to hurt you!
Prof. Dementor: Not yet!........
Ron: No! No! It's not me! It's your battle suit! Oh, KP! Our first fight!
(Professor Dementor uses the Magnetic Controller to remove the battle suit from Ron and put it on himself. Ron is left pants-less again.)
Ron: KIM!
Prof. Dementor: Did you say......your battle suit?
Ron: Oh man! Even as a senior?
Prof. Dementor: No, no....... my battle suit!....(laughs evilly).....Not as comfy as the house dress, but I'll learn to live.
Rufus: (squeeks and squawks at Ron, pointing at the Magnetic Controller. Ron throws him at the machine) Hut hut weeeeeeeeeeeee.....
Prof. Dementor: The final crushing blow delivered by my own super enhanced bad self!
(Rufus starts pushing buttons and takes control of Dementor, making him attack himself. Ron helps Kim up.)
Prof. Dementor: Ooooh? What? Owwww! Dahhh!
Ron: Hey, stop hitting yourself.
Prof. Dementor: I cannot! No! I! Ooooh! This isn't fair! My battle suit!

Announcer: Time's running out, Stoppable is off his game tonight.
Ron: Ehh! Okay....this is the big moment. I don't need a suit! I can do this!.... I can... I ... I'm outta here!
Announcer: Where is he going?
Barkin: What is he doing?
Bonnie: Gee, Kim. Is that your boyfriend out there running like a sick chicken?
Kim: Yeah, that's my guy.
Announcer: Wait! He's turning around! Unstoppable Stoppable! He's breaking the all Middleton rushing record! Where did he learn to run like that?......Mad Dogs Win! Mad Dogs Win!
Ron: Booya!
(The crowd goes wild)

Kim: You do me proud, Ron Stoppable, by just being you.
Ron: Yeah! Who knew my mad running away skills would have real world applications.
Barkin: Too bad you had to go and cheat you way onto the team. Cheater.....
Ron: Does this mean I don't get to be the quarterback anymore?
Barkin: It's called disciplinary action! Something we coaches do.
Ron: Awwww, man.
Barkin: That's right! I want you to think what you've done... when you're playing as the new Middleton running back!
Ron: You mean I still get to be on the team?
Barkin: Heh, heh, heh! to me after twenty laps.
Ron: Thanks, Mr.B !.........Up!.....
(Mr. Barkin grabs Ron and pulls him back.)
Barkin: Save your running for game time.
(Ron lets out a deep sigh and starts the crab walk down the hallway.)

(The phone rings in the middle of the night.)
Kim: (groans) Hello?
Ron: Okay, Kim. I know it's late but.....
Kim: (yawn) How many times do I have to tell you? We kissed! We're dating!
Ron: So you leaving me for Rufus was.....?
Kim: Dream.....
(Rufus starts crying because he's trying to sleep.)
Ron: Me being Middleton's new running back......dream?
Kim: No, that actually happened.
Ron: Oh! I'm on a team! That's cool....okay, how about you water skiing over a shark?......
(Dial Tone)
Ron: Hello?......Hello?........Kim?