Transcripts - The Big Job
Global Justice Alliance

Transcripts - The Big Job


Episode The Big Job
Language English
Type Closed Captioning
Date Written Unknown
Author Cloud23465
Author Comments Not Available
Wordcount 4704


Kim: Wow! Chez Couteaux, How'd you score a table?
Ron: It's all who you know KP.
Kim: Wade?
Ron: Uh, yeah... he jacked the reservation line for me.
Kim: Oh, that's so sweet.
(The waiter hands menus to Kim and Ron.)
Kim: Wow… this is kinda expensive.
Ron: Not the kids menu.
(Ron snaps his finger and the waiter gives Ron a kids menu.)
Ron: Might I recommend the nuggets-du-chicken? Or the Griddled fromage?
(Ron whips out a coupon book)
Ron: Hello! Kids eat free!
Kim: Ron, not the coupons again?
Ron: You don't mess with a good thing, KP.
Kim: We're not kids. At least I'm not.
Ron: Right, right. So if anyone asks, you're under 12.
Kim: Ron, I can't!
Ron: I know what you're thinking, Kim.
Kim: You do?
Ron: Garcon! Hi, this baby otter isn't going to color itself.
(Ron fiddles with the crayons.)
Ron: Why no brown? What's closer to otter fur? Red or Blue?
Kim: Ron, this is ludicrous! Ron: I know! You'd think a swank joint like this could spring for a real box of crayons. Oh and know what? Watch your vocab Kim. Ludicrous is kind of a grown up word. Remember, you're twelve. So maybe ‘doofie' or ‘stupido'.
(Kim just stares at him)

Drakken: They think a prison cell can hold Dr. Drakken? Ha! Why at this very moment, the entire criminal underworld is deciding who will have the honor of breaking me out!
Frugal Lucre:: Yea who? Who's it gonna be? Wait! Don't tell me! Don't tell me! I know! It's you!
Drakken: Um… me? Lucre, ha ha.....think for a minute, I'm the one..... IN PRISON!
Frugal:: No but you! You, you are the real genius, you''d invent some kind of teleportation time machine allowing you to rescue yourself, but no! Okay no! Then there would be two of you! And the inherent impossibility of two Drakken's in the same place at the same time would force the time space continuum to repair itself by merging the two ‘Drakkens' into one! Who would be.........
Drakken: Standing right where I am now?
Frugal:: ...........Oh! You are good! Oh yeah! Oh, you're gonna take me with you right? Yeah, I'll go get my stuff.
Drakken: Ah! at last! I'm back baby, I'm...........hey!
(Drakken gloats as a helicopter comes in to break someone out of prison. But it goes to the next building and an explosive charge is placed on the wall of that prison building where Shego is. A hole is blown out and Shego comes out and waves to Drakken, then she climbs the ladder to the helicopter which then speeds away .)
Drakken: Wait! Come back! She's only the sidekick! You want me! I'm the mastermind! I've got cred! Check out my prison tags, yo!
Frugal:: hey, is there time for me to go potty before we go?
Drakken: Potty? Gah!

Shego: Not to seem ungrateful Junior, but why did you break me out of prison?
Junior: Well, my father's birthday is coming up.......
Shego: Hold it right there, slick, I don't do cakes, okay? I don't bake them, and I don't jump out of them.
Junior: Oh no no no. It is nothing like that. I thought the best present I could give Poppy was a perfectly executed caper!
Shego: And you committed a major felony so I could help you pull it off? Oh, that's so thoughtful.
Junior: Well our last crime together went flawlessly except for the part where we got caught and arrested.
Señor Senior's voice on a speaker: Junior! More celery sticks and......and uh......some of that fizzy orange uh....... beverage.
Junior: Coming. poppy.
Shego: Fizzy beverage? I'm...I'm confused.
Junior: It is uh... Father's weekly card game with friends. You would not believe how they go through the snacks, especially the Snicker Doodles.
Shego: Maybe we should heist some Snicker Doodles.

Monique:: Uh-oh! I know that look. It says bad date. Coupons again?
Kim: Well, Ron took me to a really nice restaurant last night and ummmm...
Monique:: Any actual money change hands?
Kim: Well... sorta
Monique:: Coupons for kids eat free don't count. That boy needs a job!
Kim: I hinted.
Monique:: Don't hint, lead by example.
Kim: Me? Work at Club Banana?
Monique:: It would be brilliant having you here. And it might give Ron the right idea.
Kim: Uhhhh... I don't know.
Monique:: Kim... employee discount.
Kim: I'm in!
Monique:: Welcome to club ‘B', girl!

Ron: Ah, what will it be today? Pickle on a pike?
Rufus: Mmm....mmmm....mmmmm!
Kim: Ron, about these coupons...
Ron: Aren't they great?
Kim: Not commenting!
Monique:: If the stuff in that coupon book was worth anything they wouldn't be giving it away.
Ron: I won't dignify that with a response.
Monique:: Cause you don't have one?
Ron: Well, duh! Why else do you pull that line?
(Kimmunicator beeps.)
Kim: Go, Wade.
Wade: Hey Kim, get this. Last night somebody busted Shego out.
Kim: And Drakken?
Wade: Nope, just Shego.
Ron: Again?
Kim: Any idea who broke her out this time?
Wade: Not yet, I'm trying to get a fix. I'll keep you posted.
(Wade signs off.)
Kim: Well... I'd better get to work.
Monique:: Kim's starting her new job today.
Kim: I'm working at Club Banana now.
Monique:: You know, Ron, if you had a job then you'd have.......
Ron: Impossible hours?
Monique:: No.
Ron: Mean bosses?
Monique:: No!
Ron: On the job injuries?
Monique:: Noooo! Money! You'd have mad money!
Ron: Oh, yeah......that reminds me KP, can I borrow five bucks?
Kim: Why do you need cash? You have coupons! I'll see you after work.
Ron: Okay, don't work too hard, KP! Now where to food, where to food?'s one for chicken........beaks?
Rufus: Uh-uh.......
Ron: Yeah I guess we've used up all the good coupons. I just wish I had, man......that's what Kim was talking about. She thinks I need to.......
Monique's voice in Ron's head: Get a job! Get a job! get a job! Uh-huh! That's right.
Ron: Monique may be on to something. Now only if I could find one.
(The scene shifts out into the mall area and help wanted signs are everywhere.)

Junior: Nope! No good......... got that... got two of those........oh, please not that again.......
Shego: Do you know how much trouble Drakken has gone through to get some of this stuff? And you've already got them?
Junior:: He should have called.
Shego: Even spinning tops of doom?
Junior:: Oh! Do not get me started on the spinning tops of doom! The blow back is murder on my hair! Oooooo... Do you think we will need a high speed pursuit.......?.
Shego: Focus, kiddo! All right! First, we find a target. Then we get our hands on.......
Señor Senior Senior's voice interrupts on a speaker: Junior! More salty chips and crunchy snacks and uhhh.......fruity fizzy beverages.
Junior:: Ohhhhhhh!......
Shego: All this money and Pops can't hire a caterer?
Junior: Oh, here's a museum. And a special exhibit on the history of villainy! Ooooo...Sounds evil.
Shego: It'd sound better if it was, I don't know, something valuable?
Junior: It features the last intact copy of the Tome of Treachery.
Shego: Great, some moldy old book.
Junior: Yes, it is quite moldy. But it is also priceless.
Shego: Well, we'll figure out a price.

(Ron comes in dressed in a suit of armor with a pike, a pickle speared on it.)
Ron: Kim! I got a job here at the mall! And you'll never guess where!
Kim: Pickle on a Pike?
Ron:'d you guess? Pickle?
Monique:: Ron, read the sign.
Ron: No food, pickled or otherwise..... Pickle prejudice!? This is dill discrimination!
(Kimmunicator beeps.)
Kim: (sighs) What up, Wade?
Wade: Got a lead on Shego. She's in San Francisco with Señor Senior Junior.
Kim: So it was Junior who broke her out! But why San Francisco? Any idea what they're after?
Wade: Look here, a special exhibition on the history of villainy featuring......get this! A priceless copy of The Tome of Treachery.
Kim: Sounds likely targetish.

Junior: I do not remember seeing this many cars on the map.
Shego: (sighs in disgust) Three times around the block! You'd think someone would just leave. All right! Just........just stop the car!
Junior: Do you see a space?
Shego: Forget the space! Wait here. I'll grab the Tome.
Junior: But this is supposed to be our perfect caper...
Shego: No is! I'll go steal the book....perfectly
Junior: Perfect.
(Shego starts walking down the sidewalk and is confronted by Kim.)
Shego: Oh! Great! How did you know?
Kim: You're predictable.
Shego: Really, am I? Then predict this!
(They start fighting. Ron pulls up in Kim's car and blows the horn. There is a momentary lull in the fighting.)
Ron: Kim! I'll keep circling! There's nowhere to park!
Shego: You, too?
Kim: Yeah, what is up with this city?
(Kim and Shego start to battle again and at the same time Junior and Ron battle over a parking meter.)
Shego: Junior! let's get out of here!)
(Ron finally wins the contest of getting the quarter in the parking meter.)
Ron: Ha! In your face!
(Junior parks the car in the vacant spot anyway.)
Junior: No! It is in your face!
(Shego gets in the car.)
Shego: Just drive!
Junior: But I just parked. Did you get the book?
Shego: No! Just go!
(Shego and Junior drive off.)
Kim: Come on!
(Kim and Ron jump in her car and chase after them.)
Ron: You know, it's weird. We haven't seen a single cable car.
Rufus: Hmmm.
Kim: Focus! We are only interested in Shego's car.
Ron: I mean this is San Francisco. Is one lousy cable car too much to ask? Oh, finally! There's one! Ah! There's one!
(The cable car is heading straight for them. Ron starts searching for a button to help them avoid the cable car.)
Ron: Gadget! Gadget! There's gotta be a gadget. Why isn't there a gadget?
Kim: Relax.
(Kim opens the glove box and flips a switch. The car goes airborne and flies over the cable car. Shego and Junior make it to the docks and bale out of the car to get to jet skis, and they take off over the bay. Kim turns on the Kimmunicator.)
Kim: Wade, patch me through to the tweebs!
(The tweebs are playing a video game on the TV when Kim's image suddenly interrupts them.)
Jim, Tim: Huh!?
Kim: Jim! Tim! Did you add aquatic capability to my car?
Jim: Sure.
Kim: Hit it, Ron!
(Ron drives the car into the water to chase Shego and Junior)
Ron: Okay, which button?
Jim, Tim: For what?
Kim: Aquatic capability!
Tim: Ohhhhh! We thought you said could you add aquatic capability.
(Kim's car sinks.)
Ron: Oh, I can see how they could make that mistake. Ha, ha! Look, fish!

Shego: I cannot believe Kimmy cracked our caper!
Junior: Maybe we should find some place she cannot get to.
Shego: Right! Like where?
Junior: What about way up a mountain over a perilous rope bridge and past all sorts of booby traps?
Shego: Hmm.....what's the take away?
Junior: A priceless paper weight!
Shego: Recently discovered pre-Incan idol. Not bad! Worth some dinero too.
Junior: And it will look muy bueno on Poppy's desk!

(Ron comes into Club Banana dressed for a safari. )
Kim: (gasp) Where's your Pickle on a Pike outfit?
Ron: Ummm... brine issues.
(There's a scene where Ron is at the Pickle on a Pike shop and a huge wave of brine comes over the counter... Rufus is surfing the wave.)
Ron: My bad!
Monique:: So now you're going on a safari?
Ron: Nope! I got a job at the zoo. They're hiring people to feed the lions.
Kim: Isn't that dangerous?
Ron: KP, it's the ‘zoo'.

(Ron stands behind the couch at Kim's house and his clothes are torn to shreds)
Ron: KP! It's the zoo! They tried to feed me to the lions!
Kim: Are you sure you just didn't mess this up?
Ron: Well, I ummmm...(babbles) I did skip orientation. And you know I brought my own raw meant from home.......And maybe all the poking the lions with the stick was wrong...........but no!
Kim: Uh-huh........
(Kimmunicator beeps)
Kim: Go, Wade!
Wade: I got a lead on Shego and Junior. They're in South America.
Ron: Ah-ha.! The other America!

(Shego and Junior are looking at a huge statue, which was the paper weight they saw on the internet.)
Shego: Junior, I know your dad owns an island. But there is no way he has a desk big enough for that!
Junior: It did not look this large on the internet.
Kim: Shego! Your make-up actually works in this light.
Shego: What?! You got past all the booby-traps?
Ron: Not all........little help.
(Kim and Shego start fighting.)
Junior: Girls! This is not helping!
(Ron gets free and jumps into the car to chase Junior down, who's trying to get away on llamas. He cuts Junior off.)
Ron: Oh! Give up, Junior! There's no way a llama can outrun a car!
(One of the llamas bites a tire and tears a chunk out of it. The tire goes flat.)
Ron: Okay... so maybe it can outbite a car! But that's cheating!

Kim: Any luck on the job front?
Ron: Well, after what happened at the zoo I'm starting to feel......
Monique:: Bruised?
Ron: I was gonna say discouraged. You know, I give up! That's my last job.
Monique:: Ever?
Kim: Come on! You're trying and that counts for a lot!
Ron: Yeah... thanks for supporting, KP. You know, on the bright side there are still coupons left.
Monique:: The side's not that bright.

Shego: One lousy ‘Kim Possible' free job! Is that too much to ask? I mean, there has to be some place we can go that she won't beat us to!
Junior: Maybe there is. What if we demanded an enormous amount of money for the safe return of the five richest people in the world?
Shego: Right! We couldn't even boost a book, let alone the five richest people! Do you have any idea what kind of security there would be?
Junior: Yes. Self activated lasers, an alligator tank....oh! And the spinning tops of doom.
Shego: Wait. What are you talking about?
Junior: My father and his card buddies are the five richest people. Pop Pop Porter, the frozen snack king; Oren Door, the software czar; Paula Pandouty, the first lady of daytime television, and Martin Smarty; the retail revolutionary.
Shego: Do their games last as long as your intro?
Junior: Sometimes a week, sometimes more. We just have to keep them playing. That would be long enough for us to collect the money. No?
Shego: Junior, that is the lowest, sneakies,t most underhanded plan I've ever heard!''s perfect!
Junior: Good! I will make our demands known.
(Junior dials a number on his cell phone.)
Telephone Recording: Thank you for calling Smarty Mart. For customer service, press one. For job opportunities, press two. To demand an enormous amount of money for the safe return of our founder, press three.
(Junior punches a button.)
Telephone Recording: Please enter the enormous amount of money you are demanding.
Junior: This is even easier than I anticipated! (laughing)

Ron: Monique, thanks for letting me help out around the store.
Monique: Actually Ron, I asked you not to help out around the store.
Ron: Yeah, but I figured since I was here.
(A huge stack of pants falls off the shelf.)
Monique:: I am not cleaning that up!
(Kim walks over to Ron and sees the mess, then the Kimmunicator beeps.)
Kim: What's the sitch, Wade?
Wade: Plenty. Check this.
(A video appears on the Kimmunicator screen.)
Junior: Hello, everyone. If you are interested in having the five richest people in the world safely returned to you, you need to convey to us the sum of......a bazillion zillion dollars! (Laughs evilly.)
Shego: (whispers from off screen.) That's not a real number.
Junior: But it sounds so impressive. And don't you like my evil chortle?
(Shego appears on the screen, pushing Junior out of the picture.)
Shego: Ugh....Hi, he's new at this. A billion dollars apiece will do just fine!
(The video ends and Kim talks to Wade.)
Kim: And the five richest people are?
(The screen shows the images of the five richest people.)
Ron: (gasp) Kim! Do you know who that is? That's Martin Smarty, the founder of Smarty Mart! Do have any idea how long I've wanted to meet him? I ..uh...oh! He's....he's my idol! I've read his book three times!
Kim: You read a book without it being assigned?
Ron: Man! You know, you are snippy lately. I knew this job thing would lead to this.
Kim: You mean you not holding one?
Ron: No time for snip, KP! We gotta save him!....them!
Kim: Ugh! We will! Wade! Ride?
Wade: Jim and Tim are still working on your car. Llama bites.......not good.
Kim: But we gotta get to the Seniors' island. There has to be someone we can hitch a ride with.
Ron: I have a solution.
(Kim looks at the coupons Ron shows her.)
Kim: Huh? One free parasailing lesson?
Ron: Boo and a Ya!

Ron: Admit it, KP. The Ron man and his humble coupons came through when it counted.
Kim: Okay! So one came through in a pinch! I still hate that coupon book!
Ron: I can't believe it! I'm actually going to meet Martin Smarty! (giggles with excitement)
Kim: Rescue first! Then meet.
Ron: Did you know that Martin Smarty got his first job when he was ten!
Kim: Fascinating! Can we concentrate on being sneaky now?
Ron: Ten, KP!, His first job, selling popcorn balls out of an old wagon. I don't even own a wagon. I'm just a failure!
Rufus: Awww.....hawww.
Kim: Oh, eh, you're not a failure! You're.....uhh.....well, okay. You... you have failed a lot lately. But your luck's bound to change.
(They enter the Seniors' residence.)
Shego: Kimmy, we've been expecting you.
Junior: We have indeed! Would you care for a salty snack?
Kim: No thanks! We've just stopped by to foil you two and then we'll be on our way.
Ron: Hold up, KP! What kind of salty snacks?
Shego: Ugh! Forget the snacks! Get ‘em!
(Shego and Kim start fighting again.)
Ron: It's down to you and me, Junior.
Rufus: Ah-ha!
Junior: (gasps)
Shego: Never mind the sidekick! He's just the distraction!
Junior: Right! Help yourself to a fizzy beverage............We have a distraction too.
(Junior activates a laser and it starts to fire at Kim, tracking her every move. She has to keep moving fast to avoid getting hit. Shego and Junior are watching and laughing at Kim.)
Junior: We're having the gloating snickers! I enjoy this! (laughs)
Ron: Rufus, let's show them what distraction really means.........Ah-ha!
(Ron finds a second controller and stops the laser for a few moments... Kim gets to rest, out of breath.)
Ron: That's what I'm talking about!
(The laser then turns and starts to fire at him, and tracking him down as he runs away.)
Ron: Oh! That's not what I'm talking about at all!
(Shego and Kim resume fighting While Ron avoids the laser beams. The spinning tops of doom suddenly appear and start to chase him and ceiling panels of steel try to smash him as he yells and screams while running away. Shego pauses in her fight with Kim.)
Shego: Wow, your dad really does have everything.
Junior: Tell me about it! The holidays are a nightmare! He's so hard to shop for.
(Shego and Kim resume fighting. Shego hits Junior with her green beam and knocks him down. Ron nearly falls into the alligator pit, barely holding on to the edge. Kim catches Shego trying to strike her with a flying kick and throws her off to one side. Junior then grabs Kim from behind and holds her in a bear hug.)
Señor Senior Senior: Junior! What is all this racket? Ron Stoppable? What are you doing here?
Ron: We're here to rescue Martin Smarty!......Uh, and everyone!..... yeah.....
Martin Smarty: Rescue us? From what?
Ron: Junior! He kidnaped you all!.......including his own father!........ hi!
Señor Senior Senior: Junior! Is this true?
Junior: see the thing is........Yes! It is true!
Martin Smarty: This is an outrage!
Paula: What is wrong with that boy of yours?
Oren: Can we please get more Snicker Doodles?
Martin Smarty: Listen here, young man! There is only one word for behavior like that! It's downright evil!
Señor Senior Senior: Yes, quite evil indeed. Well done, Junior. I am very proud of you, my son.
Junior: Thank you father!......And happy birthday!
Señor Senior Senior Ah, what a marvelously thoughtful gift
(Señor Senior Senior sees Shego)
Señor Senior Senior: What is she doing here?
Shego: Relax, Pops. Junior came up with this one all on his own. It was actually a good plan. still is! Hi-ya!
(Shego grabs Martin Smarty and laughs evilly, holding him from behind.)
Ron: Sidekick still in danger!
(Alligators snap at him.)
Ron: Hey, stop that!
Kim: Give it up, Shego! It's over!
Junior: Yes! you saw how pleased father was with his gift. We can stop now!
Shego: Oh...Oh no, no, no. Somebody owes me my billion!
(Ron grabs Shego's ankle and pulls himself up out of the pit, and pulls her into the pit at the same time. Shego yells as she falls in.)
Ron: Made it!
Señor Senior Senior: Junior! Make sure your lady friend does not hurt my alligators.
Shego: Me? Hurt them?
Ron: (giggles with excitement) Mr. Smarty! Can I get your autograph? I've read your book three times!
Kim: Good work, Ron! You saved him!
Ron: I did? Oh yeah! I did!
Shego: Seriously, a hand? Anyone? These things have teeth!
Martin Smarty: I like to reward people who save my life.
Ron: And I like to be rewarded.
(Ron giggles with excitement)
Ron: Did you hear that. KP!? A reward!
Martin Smarty: How would you like a job?
Ron: ........Maybe we have different thoughts on that word "reward".....
(Kim elbows him hard.)
Ron: Owwww! Oh! Right! A job....yeah that'd be, thanks.
Martin Smarty: Outstanding! You are the type of go getter I need on the Smarty Mart team! Welcome aboard!
(They shake hands. The scene shifts to a Smarty Mart Store)
Ron: I won't let you down, sir! Well, Rufus. Let's meet our co-workers.
Rufus: Uh-huh!

Kim: Wow! Chez-expensive!
Ron: And this time, no coupons. Tonight, Garcon, we'll take the grown up menu.
Kim: Ron, this is really great! you have to wear the Smarty Mart Vest?
Ron: KP, the vest never comes off! Now where are my crayons? Garcon!
Rufus: Uh huh. Garcon?
(Kim just smiles at Ron.)

(After Credits)

Frugal Lucre: I got this great idea for the prefect caper! You want to hear it?
Drakken: No!
Frugal Lucre: Okay! Here's what you do! You demand an enormous amount of money for the safe return of the richest people in the world!
Drakken: Lucre! Lights out means lips shut!
Frugal Lucre: Okay, I'm just spitballing! But here's the twist! You don't actually abduct anyone! Nooo! No! You just make people think you're holding 'em.
Drakken: Are you sleep talking?
Frugal Lucre: No! Okay! Oh, oh, oh! How about this? Okay, you distribute evil robotic technology through fast food kiddy meals!....... Can you hear me okay through that pillow?