The After
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  1. #1
    Registered User Exalted Member Fireand'chutes77's Avatar
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    The After

    Rated T for violence, language, and teenage situations.

    I'm reposting all the replies from the original thread in my name, but with the original poster's name in big letters.

    This is a continuation of “OLS,” hopefully wrapping up the final surprise in OLS’s the final chapter. This was originally going to be all one big thing, but when the first main part exceeded 14 Microsoft Word pages, I wisely decided to split it into chapters.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3660927/1/The_After

    PS - if the first bit seems a bit, uh, warm, hang with it – I like twists, too…

    [hr]
    Don’t read this until you’re done with Ch. 1 –
    [hr]

    First off, I know this first part is a rather drastic departure from my usual subject material. I was a little unnerved and surprised myself when it entered my mind after I finished OLS’s Air Force One scene. I’d originally planned to simply start aboard the airplane. I was uneasy about putting it into writing, wondering if it was just hormones on my part. But it stuck, elaborated, and wouldn’t go away, so I put aside my unease and booted up Microsoft Word.

    Before you go into conniptions over what Kim is wearing, remember that Ron hasn't seen anything worse in Miami. (Ironically enough, “Golden Years” played only a day after I’d written that particular paragraph. And it’s a redhead. What are the chances?)

    I’m sure some people read this chapter and thought with raised eyebrows, I didn’t know that was in him. I didn’t either, actually. It sorta just… happened.
    The way I see it: Ten yards and a touchdown? Ew, gross. 27 feet and then a punt return in the opposite direction? With the proper setup and connecting passes, that might just be a play I can run…

    Foolishly, I didn’t foresee this beginning section tingeing the tone of the rest of the story, so now all the minor, throwaway K/R bits I’d planned now carry a lot more weight. I’ll find a way to make it all work out, though…

    If you’re worrying that I’m zinging off in a new K/R direction, don’t, hopefully. I figure that if I want to be a successful writer something in the future, I have to have a wide range of emotions and scenes to draw on. Explosions and gunfire are good when they’re needed, but what happens when the bullets stop? There’s no meaningful plot. If I want to be a successful writer, I have to be able to coordinate a massive firefights and tense one-on-one standoffs, but also be able to slow it way down and write softly, gently, warmly. (People have complemented me on Kim’s NDE-retelling aboard Air Force One in OLS (wow, lotta acronyms), so apparently I did something right.)

    So as for this beginning bit where it gets a bit, uh, “warm,” I’ve checked that stylistic box now. I’ve proved to myself that I can write that type of scene if I need to. Of course, now that I have, I know that I can, so there really isn’t any reason to do any more for the time being. So, unless I’ve set it up really well and somehow get a compelling reason for it, my other stories probably won’t have much/any of this kind of K/R gorchiness. :P

    A trivial side note – I was something of a Titanic historian when I was a little kid. I have about five or six books on the ship and I’ve been to several presentations by Dr. Robert Ballard, who found the ship (a very neat guy, BTW). Paying homage to that, I described the first jolt as “God running His finger along the side of the ship,” which is how many of the Titanic’s passengers described the ship contacting the iceberg.

    EDIT by Jeriddian: This is the link to the archived thread:
    http://www.globaljusticealliance.com/archives/thread25/index.htm
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  2. #2
    Registered User Exalted Member Fireand'chutes77's Avatar
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    TransWarpDrive:

    Nice first chapters, 'chutes! And a clever little twist in Chapter 1: REM! You're certainly blossoming as a writer - this tale has gotten me thinking seriously about reviving my writing projects. You've made a few spelling errors, but due to the lateness of the hour (it's after midnight here in Go City), I'll reread your story and point them out to you later. But aside from that, you've got your tale off to a good start with some interesting plot developments already. I look forward to reading more!

    (Now if only we can get MrDrP to finish his KP/Star Trek tale "Naco on the Edge of Forever"... <_< )
    Keep up the good work, my friend!
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  3. #3
    Registered User Exalted Member Fireand'chutes77's Avatar
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    NotTheCrimpmaster:

    Cool, I'll have to read this later.

    That spoiler'd text you have in your first post that you say not to read until after Ch1: do you want us to read that before Ch2 as well?
    Carpe Navi: Because you never know when you'll get to go boating at government expense again.

  4. #4
    Registered User Exalted Member Fireand'chutes77's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not The CrimpMaster,Jul 18 2007, 02:46 PM
    Cool, I'll have to read this later.

    That spoiler'd text you have in your first post that you say not to read until after Ch1: do you want us to read that before Ch2 as well?
    No, that was just for the first chapter.
    Thanks for the complements, TWD.
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  5. #5
    Registered User Exalted Member Fireand'chutes77's Avatar
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    Lunchmeat:

    On the subject of teenage hormones: cold showers for you, grasshopper. Well written, so far.
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  6. #6
    Registered User Exalted Member Fireand'chutes77's Avatar
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    TransWarpDrive:

    Quote Originally Posted by lunchmeat,Jul 22 2007, 10:19 PM
    On the subject of teenage hormones: cold showers for you, grasshopper. Well written, so far.
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    Very good, lunchmeat!
    Couldn't have said it better, myself...
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  7. #7
    Registered User Exalted Member Fireand'chutes77's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TransWarpDrive,Jul 22 2007, 11:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lunchmeat,Jul 22 2007, 10:19 PM
    On the subject of teenage hormones: cold showers for you, grasshopper. Well written, so far.
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    Very good, lunchmeat!
    Couldn't have said it better, myself...
    Erm, yes.... :chagrin: :lol:
    I had to step away from writing a few times because the adrenaline buzz was making me a bit jittery.
    At least for the descriptions of heartrate or body heat, all I had to do was take my own pulse. :P :lol:
    Carpe Navi: Because you never know when you'll get to go boating at government expense again.

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