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  1. #601
    Just posted the epilogue for Season One of Double Entrendre. I'm going to take a couple of weeks to recharge my batteries and sketch out where Tara and the gang will be going during the summer and then there will be a brief summer series before Year Two. I will also be going back and editing for grammatical and continuity errors and am considering posting it on have to admit to some curiosity as to the response it will get there.

  2. #602
    I've gone back and edited chapter one of Double Entendre--biggest changes I made was changing Tara's cover story slightly where she is temporarily fostered--parents died recently in plane crash--and after a month or so will be granted legal emancipation. That gets rid of the whole theme of posing as an American--simplifies things for everyone. I've also posted the edited part one on and will post the rest of story as I edit it.

  3. #603
    Super Moderator Honored Elder campy's Avatar
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    Aug 2007
    Klein Innsbruck
    I agree with your reasoning. The switching from American accent to British added little while it was there. I think, however, I would have put in a couple of sentences during the Tara/Steed/Betty scene.

    "Do you want me to fake an American accent while I'm there?"

    "No, I think your regular accent may even help you catch on with Kim and Ron."

  4. #604
    Nice touch! I wish I'd have thought of that!

  5. #605
    Just posted the revision to chapter 2 on both AO3 and

  6. #606
    I wrote a fairly lengthy addition to Chapter 7 of Double Entendre. I wanted to show how Kevin and Liz got together and tie that into continuity and this seemed to be the best place. I've included the excerpt here, and the revision will be posted on both and AO3. I hope I did Kevin right by you both campy and jeriddian:

    The Game: Lowerton Lemurs vs. Middleton Mad Dogs

    “I don’t believe it!” Bonnie shook her head in amazement. “The crowd loved him.”
    “Of course they did.” Tara replied with a big grin as she blew a kiss at the mascot.
    “We told you they would.” Hope quipped as she waved her pom-poms.
    “Well…for what it’s worth, I’m glad to be proven wrong.” Kim said as she gave her best friend a hug, “You did great, Ron.”
    “Thanks, KP!” An out of breath Ron Stoppable said as, staying in persona, he waved to the crowd.
    “And that’s the game.” Kim and the other cheerleaders cheered as the victorious Middleton High Mad Dogs ran to their lockers. “So…what are everybody’s plans?”
    “Going out with Brick.” Bonnie replied.
    “Babysitting.” Hope sighed.
    Seeing David in the stands, Tara smirked, “Dinner at Chalet Quesette.”
    “Ooooooohhhhh…” Jessica sighed, “Lucky girl.”
    Smirking, Hope quipped to her best friend, “Don’t forget…I want a full report tomorrow.”
    “I was wrong, Ron.” Kim said to her best friend as they walked together off the field, “Let me make it up to you—at least a little bit. What about letting me buy all the nacos you can eat at Bueno Nacho tonight?”
    “Booyah!” Ron exclaimed, “Lead the way, KP!”
    Watching with concern an uncharacteristically quiet and subdued Liz walking alone to the locker, Jessica dashed to catch up with her. “Hey, Liz. Liz!” Jessica repeated as the other cheerleader seemed to not hear her.
    “Oh…” The curly-haired redhead started, “Jess. I’m sorry. My mind was on…stuff.”
    “Hey…” Jessica apologized as the two girls walked together into the locker room. “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier in the week. I shouldn’t have said those things…”
    “No.” Liz shook her head, “You were right. I was being a jerk. I should have at least been polite to Kevin. Would you please tell him I’m sorry when you see him?”
    “Why don’t you tell him yourself?” Jessica smiled, “He’s waiting outside with Steve.”

    The parking lot after the game

    “Jess wanted me to tell you she’s sorry she wasn’t able to fix you up with Tara.” Steve confided to his friend as the pair waited outside the girls locker room. “It seems she has a boyfriend…” The baseball shortstop remarked as he inclined his head towards where a handsome dark haired man wearing a pullover sweater and jeans stood.
    As the doors opened to reveal Tara and Hope, the man called out in an accented voice, “Ra-Boom-De-Ay!”
    “David! Be with you in a sec, luv!” Tara called back, “Until then I’ll let Hope keep you company!”
    Flashing a leer, the raven-haired cheerleader quipped, “My pleasure, bestie. Take your time. No rush.”
    Approaching Steve and Kevin, the blonde Englishwoman, now wearing jeans, a Union Jack t-shirt, and a leather jacket, smiled, “Hullo boys. Jess should be out shortly, Steve. When we left, it looked like she was having a serious conversation with Liz.” Favoring the chess club captain with a warm grin, Tara commented, “I think it was about you.”
    “About how low down on the food chain I am, I’ll bet.” Kevin murmured in a barely audible tone.
    “Hey, G-Man!” Steve interjected, clasping his friend’s shoulder, “What did I tell you? Any girl would be lucky to date you. If Liz is too stupid to see that, then screw her! There are other fish in the sea.”
    “Steve’s right, luv.” Tara seconded before continuing in a gentle, encouraging tone of voice, “But I’m getting the feeling that she’s starting to have second thoughts about all this food chain rot. Maybe you should give her another chance?”
    “Maybe.” Steve conceded, “Could be you just caught her off-guard.”
    “Yeah.” Tara pressed, “It wouldn’t hurt to give it one more go, would it? What have you got to lose?”
    Sighing, Kevin replied, “Just what’s left of my pride.” Wincing as he took in the looks his friend and his blonde chess opponent were giving him, Kevin sighed again, “All right. I guess it couldn’t hurt to try one more time.”
    “That’s the spirit!” Steve grinned, slapping his friend on the back of his shoulders. “Go get her!”
    “Vienna Game, Kevin!” Tara chuckled as she waved goodbye, “Good luck!”
    “Vienna Game?” Steve raised his eyebrows as the two boys watched Tara and Hope walking away with Tara’s boyfriend, the girls on either side of him with his arms around both their waists.
    “She suckered me with that the last game we played.” Kevin replied with a laugh. “She usually plays Queen’s Gambit or King’s Indian with white against me, but she threw me off completely when she opened with the Vienna Game. I never saw it coming.”
    “You sure you’ll be okay by yourself, Liz?” Jessica asked as the two girls walked to where the two boys were standing.
    “Yeah.” The other redheaded cheerleader replied with a sigh, “I’ll be fine. I just have to…” She let out another breath of air as she saw Kevin standing next to Jessica’s boyfriend. “I just have to…”
    Pausing for a moment, the normally vivacious, now subdued, cheerleader gazed at the slender boy standing next to his friend. Her feet seemed rooted to the ground as she stood, almost motionless, all but staring at the boy. She knew as her eyes fell first on Jessica, then Steve, then back to Kevin, that she had to make a decision and make it now and that no matter what the decision was, there was no way she could turn back. Behind Door Number One there was Bonnie and the food chain. Behind that door lay safety—at least until she graduated. She would continue to bask within the glow cast by the chestnut-haired prima donna’s popularity. Her place in the food chain would be secure. Behind Door Number Two there was…she didn’t know. If she apologized to Kevin, would he accept her apology or reject her out of hand. And if he did accept her apology…what then? Bonnie, Marcella, and Amelia would disapprove. Her place in the food chain would be in jeopardy, and with it, the safety and stability that came with being within Bonnie’s orbit would disappear. Which way? Which door? The choice had to be made and it had to be made now.
    “Liz? Liz!” Jessica called out as she almost shook the other girl to get her attention. “Are you okay? Are you feeling all right? Do you want me to get someone?”
    “No.” Liz shook her head, “No. I’m okay. I was…I was thinking.” Taking a deep breath and exhaling, the redhead prompted, “We should go. Steve’s waiting for you.”
    As the two girls drew closer to the boys, Steve gave his girlfriend a kiss. “Great game. And Ron was terrific as the mascot.”
    “Yeah.” Jessica smiled back, “He surprised everyone—well everyone except for Tara and Hope.” She shook her head, “Those two were the only ones who backed him from start to finish. Even Kim tried to talk him out of it.” Glancing at the redhead standing next to her and then at the slender, wiry-framed boy standing next to her boyfriend, the freckle-faced blonde pointedly remarked, “He had the guts to go for it—even though he was thinking the whole time that he was gonna fall flat on his face.”
    “Yeah.” Liz murmured in a low voice, “I guess I better get to the bus stop. This is the last bus, if I miss it, I’ll be late for curfew.”
    As the redhead began to turn away, Jessica nudged her boyfriend who in turn gave his best friend a nudge to his ribs, accompanying the nudge with a quick jerk of his head towards Liz. “Go on.” He whispered in a barely audible tone, “Now or never.”
    “Ummm…Liz…” Kevin stammered, urged on by the other pair’s silent encouragement, “Uhhhh…I could walk you to the bus stop…if you don’t mind.”
    “It’s getting dark, Liz.” Jessica chimed in, “I’d feel better if you let Kevin go with you.”
    Pausing for a moment, Liz, finally coming to a decision, opened one of the two doors. “Thank you, Kevin. I’d like that.”
    Watching as her fellow cheerleader walked away with Kevin, Jessica let out a sigh of relief. “For a while, I wasn’t sure which way she was gonna jump.”
    “Yeah.” Steve replied as he guided his girlfriend to his truck. “I wasn’t sure either.”
    “I hope the two of them can work it out.” Jessica remarked, “Liz isn’t a bad person…it’s just that…you know.”
    Nodding his head as he opened the passenger side door for his lovely blonde companion, Steve acknowledged, “I know. Sometimes that first step’s the toughest.

    Unsure of what to say to each other, the pair walked silently through the parking lot until they heard a loud voice calling out to them. “Hey! Red!”
    Turning towards the voice, Kevin and Liz saw a husky boy wearing a Lowton jersey, with a can of beer in one hand approaching them. “Let’s go, Kevin.” Liz murmured as the boy walking with her muttered his agreement.
    “Good idea.” Kevin replied as the pair picked up their pace.
    “Hey! Red! I said hold on!” The Lowton jock shouted, his voice slurred from the effects of the alcohol he had been drinking. “I just wanna talk to ya!” He grinned as he got close enough to grab the redheaded cheerleader by her arm. “Why don’t you ditch nerd-boy and come with me? Me and some pals are having ourselves a little party at Lake Middleton. Beer…tunes…” Sneering at Kevin, he growled, “No nerds.”
    “No thanks!” Liz replied with a scowl as she tried in vain to break away from the larger man’s hold.
    “You know you wanna!” The jock laughed as he tried to pull the cheerleader with him, “C’mon! It’s party time! And after the party…”
    “Hey!” Kevin growled, “She told you to leave her alone! Back off, creep!”
    Laughing, the jock’s lips turned up in a sneer, “Or what? You gonna make me nerd?” Pulling back his arm, the football player swung his fist at the smaller boy with a haymaker punch.
    Ducking quickly as he saw the blow coming, Kevin lashed out with his foot, giving the jock a solid kick in the shins causing the larger boy to drop his beer can and, screaming in pain, hop on foot.
    Taking advantage of the jock’s momentary weakness, Kevin grabbed Liz by the hand, urging her as the pair began running, “Let’s go!”
    Quickly losing the masher, the pair arrived at the bus stop only to see the bus leave. “Dammit.” Liz sighed, “I’ve missed the bus. Now I’m gonna have to call my folks and they’re gonna ground me for sure.”
    “Ummm…” Kevin stammered as he took out his cell phone, “I can call my Mom. She should be here soon to pick me up. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind dropping you off at your house on the way. That is…if it’s okay with you.”
    “Thanks.” Liz’s lips turned up in a gentle smile, “I appreciate that…Kevin.”
    “Don’t mention it.” Kevin smiled as he dialed his mother’s number. “Hey Mom? Would you mind if we gave a friend of mine a lift back to her house? She missed the bus and if she calls her parents, they’ll ground her. You will? Thanks. See you in a bit.”
    “Mom says it’s okay.” The chess club captain smiled at the redhead standing next him. “She’s on her way. She’ll be here in a few minutes.”
    “Thanks again, Kevin.” Liz said in a soft voice, “And Kevin…I uhhh…I want to apologize…for the way I treated you.”
    “It’s okay.” Kevin replied with a grin, “I guess I kinda caught you off guard.”
    “Yeah.” Liz smiled back. “So…” She ventured, “…what did you think of Ron’s last routine where he chased Tara and Hope around?”
    Laughing, the pair talked until Kevin’s mother arrived, and then talked some more on the way to the redheaded cheerleader’s house until, arriving just before curfew, Liz exited the car and, after thanking both Kevin and Mrs. Guberman for the lift, said to Kevin, “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Kevin.”
    “See you, Liz.” Kevin smiled back as his mother drove away.
    “So…Kevin…” Mrs. Guberman grinned, “Who’s the young lady?”

  7. #607
    Super Moderator Honored Elder campy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Klein Innsbruck
    Before you just told readers about Liz & Kevin getting together. Now you've let us watch it happen. That's usually the better choice.

    The part about Liz and her two doors was well done.

  8. #608
    Thanks, Campy, I appreciate it. While I was revising that part, I felt that I really did need to add something about Kevin and Liz and how they came together as a couple.

  9. #609
    Added in a couple more chapters including Wannaweep and put in a couple of extra Crystal, Zoe, Jessica, Liz, and Kevin scenes as I continue to flesh out the secondary characters (Jessica threatened to throw a brick at me--No, not Brick Flagg, although I'm not really sure)--if I called her a minor character.

  10. #610
    Will be starting work on the first episode of summer for the Double Entendre universe next week after I get my new system up and running. Yeah, break time's over and it's time to get back to Tara, Hope and all. I'll be working on that and "Kiss of the Raptor"--my STO/Mass Effect crossover.

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