The truly HIDEOUS story of how I ALMOST got Kim and Ron's autographs
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Thread: The truly HIDEOUS story of how I ALMOST got Kim and Ron's autographs

  1. #1
    Registered User Regular Member Molloy's Avatar
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    Exclamation The truly HIDEOUS story of how I ALMOST got Kim and Ron's autographs

    Last month, one of my friends at Barnes & Noble was going with her family to Disney World. I told her how they had cast members that dressed as Kim and Ron, and she said that if she could, she would get their autographs for me.

    Now, true, this wouldn't be as cool as getting CCR and Will Friedle's autographs, but it would still be pretty cool. For no other reason than to show my friends and co-workers how truly insane I am.

    Well, my friend--we'll call her Emily because that's her name--was with her niece when she spotted "Kim and Ron" posing for pictures and signing autographs. Emily said that the actors looked remarkably like their cartoon counterparts. She was especially impressed with the young lady playing Kim. Her hair was actually red and not some ultra-cheesy Disney wig. The line was actually pretty long, but was moving quickly. When they were maybe four people away from the head of the line, Emily's niece waved and called out to "Kim."

    At that very moment things went horribly, horribly wrong. The six or seven-year-old kid in the front of the line took it upon himself to kick "Ron" as hard as he could in the groin. Needless to say, the cast member went down like a sack of potatoes and curled into a fetal position.

    And madness ensued.

    One of the cardinal rules for Disney cast members is that they cannot break character under ANY circumstances--no matter how unusual, funny, or painful a situation may become.

    For the actor playing Ron, this wasn't that big of a concern. He, of course, had much more pressing things on his mind. However, he WAS in character since Ron Stoppable would have acted the exact same way had he taken a boot to the groin. All he needed to worry about was not letting any non-Disney phrases escape his lips. He, apparently, carried this off successfully.

    No, the "staying in character" bit was hardest upon the young lady playing Kim. Her first improv was to place her hands on her hips and say admonishingly "Ron!" as if he had just done something intentionally goofy.

    This didn't fool anybody since the handfuls of kids (all between five and eight) who just witnessed this wanton act of violence had burst into horrified tears at this point. Her next foray was a little more "realistic" but not any more successful. She asked, "Oh no, Ron! What are we going to do now?" as if this was part of a rescue mission gone awry.

    Fortunately for her and "Ron," Disney authorities arrived to sweep them to cast member sanctuary. These people also apparently escorted the punk and his parents away to be dealt with--severely, one would hope.

    With any luck, "Ron" was not seriously hurt, and "Kim" learned something valuable from her experience to use in improv sitch's in the future.

    But, yes, one of the end results of this horrific tale is that I did not get Kim and Ron's autographs.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Freedom involves being able truly to care about other people & to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. --David Foster Wallace

  2. #2
    Moderator Venerated Elder TransWarpDrive's Avatar
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    OUCH!
    Poor "Ron"!
    Hope he wasn't hurt too badly...

  3. #3
    I actually have a picture with them. Unfortunately, it's on the other computer and the version on Facebook seems to be rather low quality. So I'll get it later...
    I didn't get an autograph though. I was at Disneyworld with my team for nationals. I had to go to MGM by myself to get the pictures; everyone else was asleep (at 10:00 in the morning) and we had to be back by noon for lunch.

  4. #4
    This kid needs to be forced to listen to Senor Senior Junior's greatest hits non stop for 24 hours - after his parents blister the holy snot out of his hide.

    Why am I seriously afraid the kid got no more than stern looks from them?

    The Kim & Ron Fundamentalist

  5. #5
    Wow, that is terrible. Why would someone do that?

    Poor "Ron". He was probably thinking, "The things I do..."
    "There's an old Earth saying, Captain. A phrase of great power and wisdom. A consolation to the soul, in times of need: ALLONS-Y!"~Doctor Who

  6. #6
    Registered User Exalted Member lunchmeat's Avatar
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    If I had pulled something like that with my dad in attendence, we wouldn't be having this conversation, some folks just shouldn't breed.
    Was this the park in Florida? I'm hoping to take my niece down there as part of a family trip over Christmas. She likes the show, too.

  7. #7
    Well, another one from the "violence is fun" section. I know most young children harm one or another person because of (at that time of their life) unclear ethical definitions. But it's a shame someone gets to know how effective this kick can be without being taught how wrong it is.
    But I don't think a seven year old can do too much permanent damage - people have been hit by hard-kicked footballs in that part without embarrassing losses.
    Well, I'd be talking exclosure if I was security/management.

  8. #8
    Registered User Exalted Member lunchmeat's Avatar
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    Or a catcher's cup....

  9. #9
    Registered User Regular Member Molloy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commander Argus View Post
    Why am I seriously afraid the kid got no more than stern looks from them?
    My friend said she got the distinct impression that the punk and his parents were being escorted out of the park. If that was the case (and I hope it was), I think he probably got more than a stern look.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Freedom involves being able truly to care about other people & to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. --David Foster Wallace

  10. #10
    Registered User Regular Member Molloy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunchmeat View Post
    Was this the park in Florida? I'm hoping to take my niece down there as part of a family trip over Christmas. She likes the show, too.
    I believe it was at the MGM park in Florida.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Freedom involves being able truly to care about other people & to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. --David Foster Wallace

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