Feedback Wanted
Global Justice Alliance

Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Feedback Wanted

  1. #1

    Feedback Wanted

    So. Recently, I've been doing some prep work for a fanfic. Specifically, one focused on Warhok and Warmonga to fill in some of the gaps. My idea is to focus on the 'Battle of the Thirteen Moons of Jingos' that Warmonga mentioned in Mad Dogs and Aliens, yet take some time to explore their characters too, try and make them more than just alien villains.

    To start off, I started doing some species write-ups. Trying to make each one more than just a sci-fi stereotype, and I was wondering if anyone would give feedback. Besides the lorwardians, I've got three others, two of which I've done write ups for. The caladanians, an avian species who have innate superpowers; the asura, a short, mole-like marsupial species who embody the mad science of the KP 'verse (and have about as much retention of it as the KP verse has); and the meriur, who fill the role of good old space elves.

    I've got the write-ups for the lorwardians, caladanians, and meriur done, and I was wondering if anyone here would like to give them a look? I wouldn't mind some feedback. I've been using google docs, so I'll leave the links here. Just the overview and lorwardian ones, though, I don't want to hijack this thread with essentially OC species.

    Scrap Notes/Arsenals: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...u1xIQivPc/edit
    Lorwardian Overview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...jPh7jjQGI/edit
    Caladanian Overview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...TTtJPA4uU/edit
    Meriur Overview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...nrDLAdbh0/edit
    Asura Overview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...1aT2zV28A/edit


    Just wondering if anyone was willing to give me some feedback on that. If you want me to move this to its own thread, I'm good with that.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Honored Elder campy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Klein Innsbruck
    Posts
    7,412

    Re: Feedback Wanted

    I think your post does belong in its own thread. Luke Danger, and so I've moved it. And I see no reason why your OC species write-ups can't be linked here too.

    I hope you get the help you're looking for.

  3. #3

    Re: Feedback Wanted

    Thanks, Campy. Editing in the links since its it's own thread now.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Honored Elder campy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Klein Innsbruck
    Posts
    7,412

    Re: Feedback Wanted

    Just skimming a couple of the docs. I like how you tied Team Go's comet into the mix. That was clever.

  5. #5

    Re: Feedback Wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by campy View Post
    Just skimming a couple of the docs. I like how you tied Team Go's comet into the mix. That was clever.
    Thanks. I wanted to try and tie that which I could to the main KP setting since I'm going to have absolutely no Earth in this, and honestly, the comet was a nice way to tie together things and sort of put some mythology linking together so that the lorwardians weren't such fish out of the water as far as coming in suddenly. Plus, Warmonga had those gauntlets that neutralized Shego's powers or something to that effect, so I figured that the lorwardians had fought people with similar powers before. Why not tie everything in together? Sure, it's a pretty long coincidence, but it does tie things together.

  6. #6

    Re: Feedback Wanted

    Well, I finished the asura if anyone wants to give it a read. Next step on this little project is actually ironing out a plotline and writing the fic... looking forward to it.

  7. #7
    Registered User Senior Member Sentinel103's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    St. Louis, MO USA
    Posts
    391

    Re: Feedback Wanted

    I'll read it when I get some time. I mean I work a full schedule of about 70 hours a week and trying to write two majors at the same time......I must be getting old

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •