Feedback Wanted

[Luke Danger]

So. Recently, I've been doing some prep work for a fanfic. Specifically, one focused on Warhok and Warmonga to fill in some of the gaps. My idea is to focus on the 'Battle of the Thirteen Moons of Jingos' that Warmonga mentioned in Mad Dogs and Aliens, yet take some time to explore their characters too, try and make them more than just alien villains.

To start off, I started doing some species write-ups. Trying to make each one more than just a sci-fi stereotype, and I was wondering if anyone would give feedback. Besides the lorwardians, I've got three others, two of which I've done write ups for. The caladanians, an avian species who have innate superpowers; the asura, a short, mole-like marsupial species who embody the mad science of the KP 'verse (and have about as much retention of it as the KP verse has); and the meriur, who fill the role of good old space elves.

I've got the write-ups for the lorwardians, caladanians, and meriur done, and I was wondering if anyone here would like to give them a look? I wouldn't mind some feedback. I've been using google docs, so I'll leave the links here. Just the overview and lorwardian ones, though, I don't want to hijack this thread with essentially OC species.

Scrap Notes/Arsenals: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...u1xIQivPc/edit
Lorwardian Overview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...jPh7jjQGI/edit
Caladanian Overview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...TTtJPA4uU/edit
Meriur Overview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...nrDLAdbh0/edit
Asura Overview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...1aT2zV28A/edit


Just wondering if anyone was willing to give me some feedback on that. If you want me to move this to its own thread, I'm good with that.

[campy]

I think your post does belong in its own thread. Luke Danger, and so I've moved it. And I see no reason why your OC species write-ups can't be linked here too.

I hope you get the help you're looking for.

[Luke Danger]

Thanks, Campy. Editing in the links since its it's own thread now.

[campy]

Just skimming a couple of the docs. I like how you tied Team Go's comet into the mix. That was clever.

[Luke Danger]

Just skimming a couple of the docs. I like how you tied Team Go's comet into the mix. That was clever.

Thanks. I wanted to try and tie that which I could to the main KP setting since I'm going to have absolutely no Earth in this, and honestly, the comet was a nice way to tie together things and sort of put some mythology linking together so that the lorwardians weren't such fish out of the water as far as coming in suddenly. Plus, Warmonga had those gauntlets that neutralized Shego's powers or something to that effect, so I figured that the lorwardians had fought people with similar powers before. Why not tie everything in together? Sure, it's a pretty long coincidence, but it does tie things together.

[Luke Danger]

Well, I finished the asura if anyone wants to give it a read. Next step on this little project is actually ironing out a plotline and writing the fic... looking forward to it.

[Sentinel103]

I'll read it when I get some time. I mean I work a full schedule of about 70 hours a week and trying to write two majors at the same time......I must be getting old